Stix-burgh?:

Two crappy shots of a really cool shirt.

There's something about Pittsburgh fans... ya gotta love 'em. First there was 'Blitzburgh' then 'Sixburgh' and now 'Stixburgh' shirts are starting to show their colors around town. All Pro Embroidery has set up the machines to crank out more of these bad-boys. I've seen them at a local J'iggle (that's Giant Eagle grocery store to non-'Burghers) and they're pretty slick. The Title guy in the foreground snapping a quick glove save and the skyline in the background (it really looks better than the pictures) and 'It's our Time' printed on the bottom. All for about 20 bucks. If I hadn't lost my wallet on my last expedition to Lower Burma I'd have snatched one up. (ok, I left it on the dresser) I don't even want to talk about the T-shirt razzing they're giving Bill Cower for running the siren for the Hurricanes. I'm pretty sure it burned my retnas. The only thing I can remember is the word 'Cower-ed' (coward) Bill, man, your girls even told you that one would be a bad idea. Ya should have talked to Bradshaw. It was 30 years before he could come back to town.

But if Burg fans love ya.... they love ya all the way. The Trib just published an interview with Mamma and Pappa Geno. Those two have been adopted by the entire town. And who can blame us? Let's face it folks, they're cute as all hell. One of the best things bout a Geno goal (other than the rise in the score for the Good-guys) is watching 'The Genos' get all hyped up about it. (btw you noticed that the blond that Pappa Geno kissed during the 'Canes series is no longer sitting there?) Watching Mamma Geno dance around waving her towel and swinging her hips with Pappa Geno standing there beaming like a 300 wat bulb. I think they're as much members of the team as any of the guys skating on the ice. Well... they don't score goals or anything, but Geno is sure a much better Play-Off player with the two of them here. With Mamma Geno cooking, how could he not be?

But the fan experience doesn't stop there. It seems that Louise Bella, a Penguins fan somewhere in Da'Burgh, recieved an 8 legged sea creature in the mail from a deranged Red-Rags fan. So what's a Pens-addict to do? Well, she and a couple of guys from the local Primanti shop have decided to do the octopi up right and send him back to Detroit Rag City topped with fries, slaw, and tomato between two pieces of the finest Italian bread. That's right, they're sending it back 'Burgh-style as a Primanti sammich. And as a topper she wrapped it in a Penguins towel. I'm not sure even that Zimmern guy from Strange Foods on the Travel Channel would touch that one. But that's what you've got to do, Folks. Don't answer them in their own language, hit 'em 'Burgh-Style' that'll baffle the hell out of them.

Flower Song: Now that the Tower of Flower Power has won a couple of SCF games news media 'experts' have suddenly started saying things like 'This Flower guy really IS a goaltender' and other enthusiastic stuff like that. I could glean you some of those but screw 'em. PP.com (not a bandwagonner) is still saying 'The Team has always had confidence in Flower' well..... yeah. But Freep.com from the Detroit Free Press in the 'tradition' of Detroit 'fairness' is running a series of articles called 'From the Other Side' and they're gleaning PPG and Trib articles to 'spy on the enemy media' in my opinion. But they've got a nice one from Shelly Anderson about how the Flower is doing the right things at most of the right times. Of course they're also running a Flash-game called 'Smack a Penguin' which I found in very poor taste.

This was going to be longer, but hey... I've got to get ready for the game! Go Tower of Flower Power and GO PENS!!!!!

Penguins are Cool:

Penguins ARE cool. And one of the coolest is the Tower of Flower Power Marc Andre Fleury, who made some tremendous saves in the 4-2 win, was the Game's First Star of the Night. Flower Power saved 37 of 39 and showed some of his tremendous skills. The reaction save against Hose-a in the second was a thing of Flowery beauty (I know, sometimes I just can't help myself).
MAF was on his game tonight but the guy who turned the game around is Gronk himself. E-Staal is finally playing 'like a big guy' in this year's play-offs and finals and it's starting to pay off for him big time. The TK/Kunitz/Sid/TK goal was a thing of beauty. It was almost like they were telling the Red-rags what to do. 'Ok, everyone focus on Kunitz and Crosby and just ignore the Tyler behind the curtain. Various reporters asked 'what was said between periods 2 and 3 and I think the honest answer would have been. "Le-tank, take it easy on El Sid. We're probably going to need him for the next few games." Tank absolutely and accidentally knocked El Capitan directly on his ass after Geno's second effort pass left Sid with nothing to do but put it in the goal.


That's 2.

Clean Sweep:

Marc Andre Fleury and the Pittsburgh Penguins have swept the Carolina Hurricanes for the Eastern Conference Championship, despite getting no goals from Geno and El Capitan, although El Sid did return the favor to Billy Guerrin on an assist that was a mirror image of the play that netted Sid a goal Saturday night. But even though the scoring was there (ok Max's goal was weird, but it's still a goal) the absolute star of the game was the Tower of Flower Power. Whenever the 'Canes started to crash the net it was the quick glove and flipper feet (I was watching Error Youtubes and I have no shame) of MAF that pulled the guys out of any crack in the defensive wall. Flower faced 31 shots and only allowed 1 goal on E-Staal's wrap around 1:36 into the first. Fleury was making me a little nervous in the first following pucks behind the net, but it all worked out with only one or two heart-stoppers. Despite being out shot for the first time in the series 31-25 Marc-Andre was everything that a lot of people were wondering why he wasn't (?). He was Spectacular. Learning Stuff: I learned tonight that MAF has a 'tummy button' where all those pucks evidently keep going. During a post-game interview Flower said that it was easier for the guys to be loose and confident when you're winning. That may be true, but winning or losing still plays hell with the nerves of the fans let me tell ya. It's the Play-Offs no... wait.... it's the STANLY CUP FINALS!!!! (we pause now for a psychotic break) Mike Lange at the end of tonight's game: You can spit-shine your shoes, Mable. It's time to dance with Lord Stanley.That just about says it all, doesn't it?

Sid has obviously either been watching old footage of the Prince of Whales ceremony where Les Magnifique grabbed the Conference Trophy, skated it over to the team and then off the ice, and then on to win the Cup, or Mario had given him secret instructions. After avoiding it last year and losing to the Red Rags in six games The Kid nearly snatched the damn thing out of Daly's hands, and after taking the 'Triple Threat Pic' El Sid, Geno and Sarge all posed with the trophy, then immediately skated it over to the team. Some of them touched it, and some of them didn't. Breaking with superstition, but bowing to it as well.



Now on to the SCF and crappy NBC announcing and no jumbo screen. I don't know about you, but I'm going to be testing my patience listing to those guys slobber all over the Red Rags again this year. Then again, think about this: So far all the stuff 'they' said the Pens couldn't do at the beginning of the season and again at the All Star Break, the Pens have done. The Penguins made it to the Play-Offs, then through three rounds and are Conference Champs again. Let's see... didn't 'they' say that the Pens couldn't win the Stanley Cup?... I think 'they' did. Hmmmmm...... interesting.



But for now, I'm going to enjoy a bit of cool down time.... I think it'll be, oh minutes anyway before I'm itching for Game 1 of the STANLEY CUP FINALS..... GO PENS!!!!!

The Master of the Pan Flute:

Marc Andre Fleury remains perfection in Play-Off Overtime. Extending his record to 5-0 making 28 of 31 saves to lead the Pens to a 4-3 win Saturday night in Washington. The Tower of Flower Power held the fort during the Craps rush in the first until the Pens could use their first Power Play to get their feet under them. Da 'Burgh boys broke a trend in tonight's game, scoring the first goal and winning the game. Staal opened the scoring with a nice pass from Satan who has been all over the ice. The Craps score two and then Feds who has been a Play-Off beast scoring timely goals recently threw one in past Varlomov to tie it up.

But one of the heroes of the night was the Cookie Monster himself. With a crushing hit on O'Retchkin in the second and a (then) game leading goal in the third. But the big hero of the night was (no not Tom Poti, although we'd all like to thank him) Evgeni Malkin. Geno drew from some unimaginable source the energy to fly down the ice on a 2 on 1 with El Capitan, tried the cross-crease pass which Poti tried to break up but ended up banging it in his own net. I'm sure Craps fans would like to make Poti the goat, but if he misses the pass then Sid just bangs it in past Varlomov.

So it's back to the Mellon for game 6. The Pens have won 3 in a row and lead the series 3-2. And what does this mean? Nearly nothing. Sure the Pens have the advantage in games. The momentum has definitely shifted in their favor, and they return to one of the best home field (rink) advantages in the National Hockey League. But they're not playing last season's Play-Offs, where all they had to do (seemingly) was show up for 4 out of 5 games and then breeze to the next round. The Penguins are playing a team that can, it seems, get away with just about anything as long as they're not found standing over the body with the bloody knife (stick) in their hands. Unlike the old 'Broadstreet Bullies' that you hear about so much the Craps aren't making up for a lack of talent by bashing everything they see these guys have some talent. Of course some of that talent may be in stealing the ref's whistles and hiding them. Also they don't mind playing as dirty as they can get away with to show it off. Don't you think it's interesting that the one player that 'everyone' considers vital to the Pens success is the one that was 'accidentally' injured? The Pens are going to have to come out prepared to either weather the early storm the Craps bring, or match it. One of the good things about coming home is that they'll be able to park The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi in O'Venereal's back pocket for pretty much the whole game. Scuds has been even more awesomer than usual defending against the Grape Ape (Great Eight my ass) and deserves his own TFS award for his extra effort.

Sarge News: The news is.... no-one knows what the news is. TSN reported late Saturday that Gonch would be out for several weeks if not the rest of the season. (uh..... never mind) But Coach Dan was quoted early Sunday as saying that he was hoping that Gonch would be ready to skate either Sunday or Monday. Obviously you can't trust either Canadians or Play-Off coaches to give you the true story. You're probably going to have to treat Sarge like Bigfoot, until you actually see him, you can't believe the stories.

Ratt Rant: I'm tired of The Master of the Pan Flute taking the rap for the back to back games in this series. If NBC hadn't been such dicks to decide that the Craps needed the extra rest to give more time for advertising and the first game of the series needed to be on Saturday afternoon to boost their Market Share then there would have been no conflict with Yanni's concert and all of the games could have been spread out evenly. God knows why anyone wants to hear 3 hours of Pan Flute music, but while you can blame Yanni for bringing Auditory Hell to Earth, the back to back blame rests squarely on the heads of Bettman and NBC.

Party Penguins:

Phlyer fan after the final buzzer

There's something about the Pens and an afternoon game that makes me nervous. The guys just take some time to warm up when playing during their regularly scheduled nap-time.

The first period was exciting.... the way falling down a really long hill full of boulders is exciting. Three goals by Philthy in the first period did not look good. They were taking advantage with numbers for the most part, drawing the Flower out of position and then planting it in the empty net. I'm here to tell ya, I was all ready for a game 7 and the ensuing ulcer when Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens got a severe case of comeback-itis.

So... the second period starts, and it's not looking much better. Until Maximus puts on his duking mitts and goes after the recently suspended Carcillo. It seemed like Mad Max lost the fight, but something about his willingness to drop the gloves and go after the Philthy bad-boy lit some kind of fire under Geno's butt, or maybe it was the 'Shhhh' that Max gave the crowd on the way to the box, I don't know, and I don't care. Malkin starts beating on the goal-door, and Feds is there to bang in the left-overs. More 'scrumming' (translation: tag-team wrestling) and more people get to sit in the box of shame.You could feel the change but weren't quite ready to put away the hara-kiri knives just yet. Then 2 minutes later Eats, of all people, scores on a 3 on 1 breakaway. 10 minutes after that Crosby whacks one out of the air at the goal mouth and it was a brand new game at the beginning of the third.

In the third, Sarge didn't wait too long to put in the game-winning goal and then it was REALLY Tums-time. Let's face it, the guys have had trouble sometimes holding a lead, and Flower had already been bitten for three. But The Tower of Flower Power really turned up the intensity a big notch in the third, making several great saves and one 'Oh my God how the hell can a human move/bend like that?' save on Lupul with just 5:39 left to go in the game.

That one will go into the scrap book.

For the cap-off goal El Capitan refused to give up on an empty netter that first bounced off the side of the cage. He corralled it back in, whipped around the net, and with Cookie making room, buried it (and the Phlyers) into the back of the net. Then there was the strange, almost speed-ball type of calm/hyper-tense waiting period until the final buzzer sounded and everyone could slump back into their couches and freak out their neighbors by screaming 'YES!!!!!!' Then there was the sweet picture of rubbing the Phlyer's fans faces in it by making their team walk the 'handshake line' right in front of them. Sure it'd be sweet to have that at home, but there's an evil thrill in having it done to them, in front of them. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel it. For a brief second I almost felt sorry for the fans, but then I slapped myself. 'This is Philthy! Screw 'em!' We wouldn't be Yinzers if we didn't feel that.... By the way guys, you can keep the sign.



Get Ziggy With It: Even with the phenomenal face-off upswing of El Sid (63.5% and 99 FO wins, leading the Play-Offs) the Penguins miss the presence of Mike Zigomanis at the dots. Leading the League at the time of his injury Ziggy was a point of confidence for the Pens when facing a draw in the defensive zone. But now, instead of sitting at home on his injured butt, Mike visited the Children's Hospital's Oncology and Adolescent wing with the team around Christmas and was hooked. He's been back several time to visit with the kids, have his picture taken, sign autographs, and talk about both his own, and the kid's experiences in hospitals. No one knows what next season will bring. Free agency and salary-cap aside, I don't know if Ziggy is the kind of player the Pens can use next year, but I do know that he's the kind of man they can use on the team.

Battle Penguins, Battle Update:

Update to the Update: Marc Andre Fleury has the #1 save of the first week of the playoffs with that stunner of a save in game 2. Here's the link if you want to see all 10, or here if you're too lazy to scroll down two posts to see the save itself.... Chris Kunitz had the #1 hit for the first week so two out of three (Crosby's goal was this week, so maybe.....) of the tops are Pens.... good deal.

It's time for all good Penguins to prepare for battle. Game 4 of the First round of the SCPO begins at 7:00 pm (and if you already don't know that..... I'm sorry, I can't help you). After Sunday's loss the Pens are going to have to prepare to kick some major Phylthy butt to win tonight. No word on any line changes, but I doubt if there's any plan to transplant the Tower of Flower Power, despite his being victimized for 6 goals in game 3. Malkin was the beastliest Penguin on the ice Sunday, scoring 2 goals and 1 assist to remain the Play-off Leader in goals (4) and points (7). We can but hope that the remainder of the Penguin Pack can catch some scoring fire from Geno and throw some extra shovelfuls of dirt in the attempt to bury the Phlyers.

I will be posting more after the game.... and if I don't it's because my keyboard shorted out from the tears.... But I remain calm...... sorta.

GO PENS!!!

Marc Andre Fleury is officially Super Penguin! Stopping 45 of 46 shots and getting First Star of the night honors, helping the Pens drop the Phlyers 3-1. The Flower was awesome (I hate that word, but nothing else fits) in goal tonight, the only goal he allowed was after he was pushed into the net by the Philthy that Brooks knocked into him. Fleury made some spectacular saves, earning his cape and big 'S'.

El Capitan scored the first goal from his butt again (he leads the League in that), the Cookie Monster got assists on both of the first two goals, TK is throwing everything except the ref at the net and scored another goal, and Mad Maximus topped the night off with the Empty Net goal with a little help from Craig Adams, who didn't seem to know later that the net was still empty and didn't shoot. Either that or he was looking for another assist. The PK all earned FPL (Flower Protection League, hey, we've got new people) honors but most especially The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi, (our secret second goalie) who was, once again, blocking shots,banging the boards and has added a fairly dangerous hip-check to his arsenal.

The nominies for the NHL awards (the ones that are voted on) are going to be dribbled out over about 12 days starting Wed. We won't know the 3 finalists for the Hart Trophy until next Wednesday, but I'm pretty sure we'll recognize at least one of the finalists.

Ok, it's time to fire up the Zamboni and head on back to da 'Burgh. Highlights and such tomorrow, and game 5 Thursday!!!

One Down, ? to go:

UPDATED: The NHL has suspended Carcillo for his asinine hit on Maximus during the last minute of Wed. game 1. It seems that having the Commish in the stands during a mugging might be a good thing after all. It's clearly a statement to the Phlyers not to pull this kind of crap at the end of a game just because they're losing. Long live Dur HockeyFuhrer!... .

Marc Andre Fleury and the Penguins can do the Happy Dance of the First Game after defeating the Phlyers 4-1. The Flower stopped 26-27 and he and his well trained posts made some spectacular saves. The Phylthy's came out to try to establish their game and ran straight into Chris Kunitz.... several times..... hard. In the battle of imposing wills the Pens won hands down. Not even the notorious 'if you're winning we'll just try to beat you up' strategy did them any good. Unless Hartnell and Lupul just needed some alone time and so rushed out to get a penalty. The end of the third period was ridiculous with the Phlyers taking 5 penalties in the last two minutes including one game misconduct (Hartnell) and one fighting major( Coburn). If this were any other team there would be talk of suspensions, but 'It's just the way the Flyers play' is used as a get out of trouble free card. And they're pulling this crap in front of Herr Betman, Hockey Fuhrer. Someone needs to take Hartnell aside and calmly explain to him that's not the way hockey is played around here. I nominate Eric Godard as our professor of hockey etiquette. Don't be too surprised to see God-ly in Friday's line-up, and if that happens Mrs. Hartnell's baby boy had best be absent from class that day. I know that was spiteful and vindictive, but I'm ok with that.

Think about this: You watch Evgeni Malkin do something spectacular, the camera pans into the stands and there are Mamma and Pappa Geno up there having a blast. The folks all around them all know who they are and treat them so nicely. As if to thank them for combining their DNA to form a hockey hero. Here they are, 10,000 miles away from home, and they're treated like hometown folks. Every time you see them in the stands it looks like the people around them have already invited them into their homes for some after-game perogies and an Iron City. When I moved here I had some trouble convincing people that Mario Lemieux wasn't actually born in Pittsburgh, so he couldn't technically be called a 'Pittsburgh's own'. I foresee the same difficulty in a few years with Geno. He and his family have been adopted by the town and that is so cool. 4 years ago no one in da'Burgh could even pronounce Magnitogorsk, and now quite a few of them even know where it is.

Mort to come as vids are updated and it occurs to me to do something with them....

Connection:

Other than a Staal and a few Eastern European players (Geno, Sarge, and Feds) the home-town boys held the day. Luckily for us those 'homies' were Mad Maximus, Super Duper, Le-tank and the Tower of Flower Power, Marc Andre Fleury. The Pen's 'French Connection' all grew up somewhere around Montreal, but we don't hold that against them. Btw, Carey Price has been sentenced 5-10 years for the goals he robbed the Pens of during the game. MAF was really sharp for the most part during the game stopping 29 of 30 and made some jaw-dropping saves on the ever sneaky Alexei Kovalev. But he did his best work in the third period when the guys seemed a bit sluggish and had some trouble getting the puck out of their own end. Flower stopped about 15 shots in 2.3 seconds and kept the tie going so his buddies could score two amazing shorties a few minutes later. Here's the TFP showing everyone just how good a pointy-lipped Frenchman can play the game:
The only goal for the Great White North's actually bounced of the Sequoia and went in, so we won't count that one against him. Flower's got a good run going into the Play-offs and that only says good things about the Pens chances to advance into the later rounds. (We won't talk about that last round yet... superstitious? Moi? Not a chance!) Also I'd like to already nominate Jordan Staal for Tough Guy of the Play-Offs for taking a puck in the face and returning later in the period with his new stitching. I just hope his face doesn't end up as screwed up as Bugsy did last year. Wow! Did that guy end up 'Uglied Up' or what?

Really Good Stuff: How amazing is two short-handed goals for the Pens during the same PK? How often does that happen? The only thing better than that was the fact that our eyes weren't assaulted by the third jerseys the Habs obviously stole from some gay penitentiary somewhere. I mean, c'mon! The team's been around for 100 years and that's the best 'Old Tyme' jersey they could come up with? They look like some sort of strange 4th of July hockey candy.

Mrs. Malkin is going to have one more thing to dust when she visits her son's new house. The Art Ross Trophy Geno won tonight. Malkin scored a goal and that was too much ground for O'retchkin to make up. The Ugly One had a goal and an assist to climb to 110 but couldn't touch the 113 mark set by Geno. Evgeni joined Le Magnifique (6) Jammer Jags (5) and El Sid (1) to boost the Pens Scoring Title number to 13. That's just a sick number of ART'S in the last 20 years. As a side note, for 21 years (80-'01) if your name wasn't Lemieux, Jagr or Gretzky you just didn't get your name on the thing. That hardware's got to give him an inside track for the MVP for the Leage to go along with his Team MVP. Not to take anything away from O'retch, who scored an amazing 56 goals this season, but can you pass over a guy who leads the League in Points, Assists, and Take-aways? I think not. In my humble, yet all knowing opinion Mamma Geno should have another piece of bric-a-brac to dust off next year and that would be the hardware named after Dr. David Hart.

Play Off Preview, Sort of: Ok, show of hands... how many of you thought 2 months ago that we would be sitting here talking about who we were going to face in the Play-Offs? I gotta admit, my hand would not be among the elevated. HCMT had just been fired after a nightmare inducing loss to the Laffs, causing jaws to drop all over Pensland, and they bring in this guy with a name that sounds like a gastric disease, Bylsma. Now just about 2 full moons later and the talk isn't who do we want to face in the SCPO's it's how most teams don't want to face the Pens. Coach Dan comes in, does a little tweaking, and then the Easter Bunny brings them 2, 100+ point players, an Art Ross trophy, an 18-3-4 record, and at least a 5th place in the Play-Offs. (if the Phlyers lose in regulation the Pens will be in 4th and get home-ice for the first round) So Coach Dan gets the First Annual Kick-Ass Coach of the Year Award. I know he'll treasure it forever. I'm already casting my vote for Coach Dan to return next season to see what he can do with 82 games in his pocket. Also, I'd like to have every kid in Pensburgh go to Coach Dan's hockey camp. It's obvious this guy knows something about the game.

We of the Pensaddict persuasion would also like to take this opprotunity to thank Uncle Daddy and the Debbils for beating the Hurricanes and taking them completely out of contention for the 4/5th spot in the Eastern Conference. Even if the only reason you guys showed up to that game at all was because you didn't want to face the Pens in the Play Offs.

Penguin Invasion:

Ok, this was supposed to post late last night and, computer whiz that I am, I hit 'save' instead of 'post' and then never checked that it posted (the one time you don't check... sheesh) so here it is in all its late glory.

The Penguin invasion of the Stanley Cup Play-Offs will begin this weekend with the final placement of the 8 teams in the Eastern Division. The Pens are tied with Philthy and Carol-in-a for 4-6. The Canes have more wins, the Phlyers have fewer games, and the Pens have... the current scoring leader of the NHL, and some other hockey guys you might have heard of (Flower, Croz, Tank..., maybe you've heard of some of those guys).

Marc-Andre Fleury wasn't in the net tonight, but he left his well trained goalposts to make 5 saves for his replacement, Matheiu Garon. Garon and the Pens looked a bit shaky during the first period but came on late in the first to tie on their way to defeating the Aisles 6-1 to clinch at least a 6th place berth in the play-offs. Philippe Boucher announced his return to the line-up with the tieing goal in the first and that opened the floodgates as the Pens never looked back. Pittsburgh was awesome in the PK, even though there were too many damn penalties. 2 long 3-5 kills (one without the help of the Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi, the super-secret extra goalie) that were defended to perfection and gave Garon a chance to prove that The Flower isn't the only Gumby-goalie on the team. Other than the 7-2 penalty differential the guys played a pretty good game against a team of men trying to prove to their management that they deserve to be employed next season. Geno picked up 2 points on assists on Boucher's and Crosby's goals and finally acted like he was excited to be in the lead for the Hart trophy. "Yeah, I feel good." Malkin said, "One game left, it's OK, I think it's too much points (for Ovechkin to catch him)." and then he went on to promise that if O'retchkin scores 4 points he'll score two more Saturday. Kris Le-tank will receive a special TFS award point for crashing the net and nearly redirecting Dupuis' goal in.

Fan Appreciation, Appreciation: My favorite part of the season (other than the play-offs when the Pens are in) is the Fan apreciation night. I was blown away when I first moved here and started watching the Pens as a 'home-town' team when after the last game of the season the team gave their jerseys away and started throwing T-shirts up into the stands and generally making goofy fools out of themselves thanking the fans for all their support throughout the season. Watching Maximus sitting in the Penguins Polaris given away to some undiserving fan (ie: not me). Or The Tower of Flower Power pitching shirts at one of his team-mates on the ice (probably Max), Malkin making sure a kid got the game stick he handed over the glass, although it was somewhat disturbing to see the grin on Cookie's face when he was imprudently armed with a Tshirt cannon. Just about all of them were signing something thrown over the glass and whipping it back (hopefully to the person that threw it), and then each one of them giving a fan their jersey (Raine is ready to track down the blond 'bitch' that won MAF's jersey so she should be warned) and revealing the 'Fighting 5th' shirt worn under their gear (the Pens collected over 100 grand for the Fallen Heroes Fund at the game). Makes you feel like the guys think they're lucky to have a bunch of semi-crazy Pensaddicts screaming from the stands and we all know we're lucky to have them to root for, shout at or drool over as the case may be.... Thanks Guys.

Satan Sighting: Miroslav Satan has cleared re-entry waivers (uh....... nope, to complicated to explain) and will be back on the Pens roster in time for the Montreal game and throughout the play-offs (however far they go). We are pleased to see the Lord of the Infernal Realm back on the 'Big Squad' and hope that no one had to sign his soul away to get this to happen.



Winter Classic News: Reports are that next year's Winter Classic will take place in Fenway Park, possibly the Broons against either the Crapitals or the Phlyers. What does this mean to the fans? Well we should all look for a trade involving Ty Conklin to one of those three teams so he can keep his streak of playing in every NHL outdoor game alive.

The March of the Syko 300:

Petr Sykora scored his 300th goal tonight in a wild finish against the Lightning. Watching the first period almost made me fall asleep, although once it got to the third I'm glad I didn't. Marc Andre Fleury was rolling a shut-out until 4:34 into the third and then it was like someone opened the gate. Pittsburgh South scored 3 goals in just over 5:00. One on what should have been a blatant interference penalty. But, if they'd have called that, they probably would have called Feds on the Syko goal, so we might let that one slide. Flower was patting his goaltending partner (the left post) in the first, but he really needed their help in the third when P-South had 21 shots on net. MAF stopped 33-37 and was making some wild saves.

El Sid scored 2 PP goals Geno had 2 assists to keep the scoring race interesting. But the title of Sneakiest Player of the game goes to Mad Maximus. Talbot was run over by Koci in the defensive zone, drawing a penalty, Ko-ko then followed Max up the ice trying to egg him into retaliating. Max said something over his shoulder to Kocci (probably wondering how his mother was doing) and then led him, smiling all the while to prove his friendly intent, into the waiting arms (and fists) of Eric God-like. Eric tried to persuade Koci that sort of ungentlemanly behavior would not be tolerated, and that he should remove his hat in the presence of his betters, and then proceeded to rip it off and punch him in the head. Koko-puffs refused to be instructed, however and was escorted off the ice to write an essay on good manners. Later Artyukhin, the Sasquatch that's shaved like a man, must have called Guerin an old man, or something. So Bill decided to teach the young lad some manners... temporarily forgetting that Arty is 14 feet taller than he is. So Billy decided to rough him up a bit, and then give him a hug to prove he wasn't rejecting him as a person. They both went to the meditation chamber for some quiet contemplation.

You know how everyone has that annoying relative that just won't shut up. You know the one, brother, sister, cousin... parent. The one that just goes on and on and on until you just can't hear them talking anymore, they're just an annoying drone of noise in the background. Well, Stogie is my hockey version of that person. Somewhere toward the final third of the game I think I heard him say something about someone getting a broken hand blocking a shot. Turns out it was Ryan (Bugsy) Malone who'll be out for the rest of the season (I know it's only 2 games, but this is a guy who played after getting hit in the broken nose with a puck.... yeah, he's tough). I'm sorry to hear that Bugs was hurt, but there's a certain part of me that just figures that's the price he pays for not playing in Pittsburgh (vindictive, ain't I?).

Other News: Oh yeah, did you hear that the Pens had clinched a play-off spot? Wild, huh?

GO PENS!!!!!!

Debbil, Debbil Toil and.... Trebbil?:

Ok, we are (or at least I am) going to pretend that I'm all caught up with everything from last weekend, and move on to tonight's contest with the Debbils from New Jersey. Lots of good things have come out of New Jersey... like.... uh.. I can't think of any at the moment, but I'm sure something will come to me.

Marc Andre Fleury will play in net tonight for the 6th straight game, and other than Craig Adams seeing some time on the 4th line tonight, no changes to the line-up are evidently contemplated. In a good news/bad news kind of a stat, the Pens are 2 points out of 4th place, but also only 2 points from 8th place (is that crazy, or what?). The Debbils have managed to lose the last 5 games they've played, but Bill Guerin and the rest of the guys are sure that it's only a matter of time before they snap that streak, they just don't want it to happen here. On a semi-interesting side note: According to the FSN Dynamic Duo (Error and Stogie) the Penguins have run the winningest goalie in NHL history (Brodeur) out of the net more times than any other team. Don't know if that means anything, but it's kinda cool when you think about it.

'Cause I Wanna:And just because this is my blog, and I can randomly stick things in here whenever I want, here's a Flower Power tribute I ran across on Youtube the other day... more to come after the game... probably:

Do-Over:

I decided to can that vid (fickle, aren't I?) and substitute this one instead:

The Tower of Flower Power was very solid in net, making some tough saves and allowing only one freaky goal that I'm still not sure didn't pass into another dimension to get around MAF and into the goal. The Pens resoundingly crushed the Debbils 6-1 with just about everyone but the Cotton Candy Dude scoring for the Good Guys. Cooke, Guerin, Malkin, Staal, Crosby and Kunitz scored, and might I say 'nice try' to the Croz on that second Soccer Style Goal attempt. Uncle-Daddy must have heard something about how often he's fled the Flightless Attack before and wouldn't allow himself to be taken out of the game. (I'm sure he doesn't read TFS, so I'm not taking any credit). I almost felt sorry for that poor, hapless Dainius Zubrus who spent more time on his back than a coma patient. Someone invoked the spirit of Darius Kasparaitis tonight as the hip-checks were flying all around the ice. There was more butt being thrown around than a Spring Break thong contest. The best 'Unfriendly Ghost' imitation was thrown by the Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi. Scuds threw a hipper that flipped, you guessed it, D. Zubrus ass over tea-cup (it's a Midwestern thing, don't try to figure it out) on the boards at the blue line. And then in some strange twist of fate, Zube was upended about a minute later by Brooks Orpik who somehow got a penalty for being the 15th person to put 'The Big Z' on his butt, but that wasn't enough for Dainius who then decided to get Brooksie another penalty for being attacked by an insane Lithuanian hockey player. Holik decided at the 2nd break that Sequoias really weren't all that tall and confronted Gill.... and I'm not really sure what happened between right before that, and just before Sutter told the ref to 'Go puck yourself'. Because FSN had a big Second Period Stat graphic up covering the entire screen. Sutter was given a team penalty for 'abuse of an official'. At least I assume that's the abuse they were talking about, we really don't know what happens in the locker rooms between periods. (I'm not sure I really want to, either) NHL.com has screwed the highlights up so this isn't nearly as interesting as it could be. At least that's the excuse I'll be using, anyway. More to come when it occurs to me.

Putting Out the Fire:

Ok, it's a Pittsburgh area Township, and it's a fire truck, (and it says Kennedy on it) Kinda lame, but I'm going with it.

Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens will face Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla (I'm not kidding, that's his name) and the Calgary Flames tonight. I really didn't need to say that, it's just cool to write out the longest name in hockey. The Flames are a series of contradictions, 3rd in the League in scoring, but they're last in Goals allowed. Kipprosof is the winningest goalie in the League, but the Flames are allowing over 3 goals a game. They've had some struggles recently, but they beat Detroit 5-3. So the theory is, score early, score often, keep scoring, score some more and then when you're done with that, score again.

Flower Stuff: PP.com has a fairly decent article about the Tower of Flower Power. You know, once you get past all the Spring alliterations and the goofy floral references ( it's different when I do it) Flower it seems is one of the Best in the League when it gets down to 'crunch time' (which is a good thing) with a March/April record of 29-9-5 and a goals against average of 2.06. He's not really sure why he 'blooms' in the Spring (couldn't help myself) but we're all glad he does.

Game Stuff: The Tower of Flower Power faced 31 shots and made 31 saves. Getting a little bit of help from his two favorite red-painted friends, but doing most of the work himself, Marc Andre Fleury notched his 4th shut-out of the year, and the 15th in his career.

Flower and the FPL pretty much let the offense distract the Flames and said, 'That's OK guys, we got this one.' Kris Le-tank made the first goal on a sweet pass by El Capitan on the Power Play, Brooks Orpik was doing his Smokey the Bear imitation and squashing anything with flames on it. And Gill, the Mighty Oak, the Human Sequoia became something of an offensive power-house. Hal Gill joining the rush... these words you do not expect to hear during a hockey game. But the Sequoia was doing it all tonight, clearing the front of the cage, hitting, blocking shots, poke checking, standing up at the blue line, hitting some more, and yes, joining the rush behind Geno, taking that beautiful drop-pass and going high stick side on Kiprusoff for his second goal of the year.

Cooking With Geno: I saw this on the site, and it was pretty good, with Geno acting his big, goofy self, and Kris Le-tank breaking in to the show just in time to wolf down the perogies Evgeni and Alyonka made. She almost can't get rid of Kris at the end, he just keeps eating! With English subtitles... Take it away Pens-chef!

In other food/Pens related news, Maximus, TK, Staal and Dupuis made a special Pizza Delivery to the guys constructing the Consol Energy Center. Duper was given a chance to drive one of the excavators (backhoe) and nearly brought the place down. Ok, he just went backwards when he wanted to go forward, but I'm sure it scared the crap out of him. Here's the vid if you can stand the annoying announcer, and want to check it out.

Streaks and Confused Monkeys:

The Streak has ended

The 12 game point streak has ended for Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens. And the Ratt has entered a period of meditation to once again center himself with the Hockey Universe. Actually the guys didn't play badly, and the Phlyers didn't play better than the Pens, they just got an unbelievable game out of Marty Biron, (and how often does that actually happen against the Pens?) Most of the time Biron is a Central European Dairy Product (Swiss Cheese) to the Pens snipers, but not Sunday. Kris Le-tank scored the only goal for the Flightless ones, but the rubber was flying (28 shots) and the energy was up we just needed to crack Biron with a pipe or something. But we can't bitch (doesn't mean we won't) out of the 34 possible points available to the Pens since Coach Dan took the reins the guys have managed to lasso 27 of them, go from a distant 10th to a semi-solid 5th with a decent chance for 4th place before the last 8 games have been played. (Philly has 11 games left) We were bound to lose one or two, I just hate that it was Philthy we lost to, but it just gives me more to hate them for. (hey, that kinda rhymed!)

Better Hockey Stuff: Call him Evgeni, Geno, The Incredible Malk, or the Beast From the East(-ern Conference) Malkin is 10 points ahead and has 5 assists more than El Capitan and has been picked the League's Second Star for his 3 goal 5 assist, 8 point run last week. That Cam Ward dude was First Star, and Shane Doan (All Star Shoot-Out winner) caught the Third Star honors. Guess those Blogger-verse guys were wrong about the suspension too, huh?

Kinda Not so Good News: The Buffaslugs have kind of been struggling without the services of Amp Energy Drink commercial star Ryan (yo mama) Miller. Well, Miller started skating with the team today, he doesn't give any timetable for his return, but you've got to know he'll be pushing it with the 'Slug's play-off chances floating out into Erie with the rest of the Buffalo sewage. They're a much better team with him in, and there are enough teams knotted up in this play-off race, I don't need another one to keep track of.

What the....?: Speaking of teams we forgot to watch, the Ottawa Senators have somehow managed to claw their way out of the basement and now hold 11th place in the East. Just 2 points behind the aforementioned Buffaslugs. They've won 5 games in a row, including one against the NY Rags (thank you very much). Of all the weird things that have happened in the standings this year, this might be the weirdest.

Snipers and Savers:

The man's so good he doesn't need a glove. In some kind of Schoolyard 'Even-Steven' guesture, Marc Andre Fleury played for several minutes in the first period without a glove. He still didn't allow the Kinks to score. The Tower of Flower Power stopped 24 of 25 in the game and later used that glove to wipe the face of Stoll in the Second Period when Stoll got too close to the Flower Patch, which started a scrum that caused Le-Tank to lose his hat. What isn't much noticed is The Croz tackling some hapless Kink to the left of the net and putting him on his ass. New FPL member (4th liners can apply) Craig Adams, who we don't hear too much about, gave up his stick to Scuds and then laid his body on the line 2 or 3 shots in a row on the 5 on 3 earning him provisional FPL status, even though the Kinks eventually scored. Speaking of FPL members we haven't hear from in a while Philippe Boucher has been taken off the IR list and was actually a scratch from last night's game. Booch has been out since Jan 30, with a foot injury.

Taking Care of 'Bidness':

PensChick asked that I throw something at Error the next time he jinxes the Flower, and I put one of my top 'people' on it. (As you can see by the picture on the left). Although we won't know his effectiveness until Wednesday when the Pens play the Flame-outs, since the Phlyers game is NBC (the Hockey Gods are so cruel sometimes). Just a reminder: the Sunday game is at 12:30 not the 3:00 start as per the schedule.

News to Make You Reach for a Weapon: Evgenin Malkin evidently had a phone hearing with the Czar of Hockey Discipline sometime today. (Geno's Russian, he can deal with Czars) No details are available, although the League doesn't seem to be giving it the play the Blog-iverse is giving it. People seem to be screaming one way or the other about the hit, but they're all using the same annoying Vid with post-game comment by some LA Nazi who would seem to want Geno to go to some Concentration Camp with all the other good players who remind him why he's an announcer and not a player. I've seen the vid, I've put up with the WC (west coast) Nazi, and I've got to tell you: Yes, he leaned in when he struck Simmons (isn't that a mattress?), but it looks like Geno was bracing for a hit from Simmons when for some unknown reason, Simmons decided to strike Geno with his face. Malkin did not vary his line or raise his elbow to initiate a hit. If he's suspended I've got some footage on cheap shots given to El Sid that I'd like the League to review.

Ratt-thoughts:Malkin has been a Hockey Beast the last few games, even more than usual. Geno and El Capitan seem to be playing a different game than even the rest of the team. It's almost like they've time warped their game into play-off mode. If I were on the team facing the Pens in the SCPO (should they make it in) I would be in fear, because these guys aren't playing Play-off hockey yet. They'll be really-really-really scary to face once they start.

Luck of the Irish... Sort of:

Happy St. Patrick's Day to One and All.... And the Luck 'O the Irish (or French Canadian) to the Pens tonight against the Thrashers.

Part of that 'Irish' luck has already struck a bit, as Evgeni Malkin skated with the team this morning, and will play tonight after taking a day off because of 'illness'. (undisclosed, of course). So the lines will be the same as the last couple of games, anyway. Along with that luck is the fact that Thrasher's (what is a thrasher, btw? some sort of 6 year old with a fit?) leading scorer Ilya Kovelchuck won't be playing tonight, not that they needed him to paste the Craps with a 5-1 loss last night. Oh well, can't have everything.

The Moose is Loose: After 6 years Johan Hedberg (Mooooooooooose!) will be playing in the Mellon arena. He's been back before, but this will be the first time he's started here since being traded. And if that wasn't 'old home week' enough for you 'Army' Armstrong will be back again with that hand breaking beak of his. (Feds.. keep the hands in the gloves if you whack him again) In honor of the 'Arm-ster' returning I think it's only appropriate to link (won't let me embed) that silly-ass car commercial (Just call me Superstar) It's hard to root for the Ex-Pens you like, but still wish them to be crushed in humiliating defeat.... have to work on that one.

Philippe Boucher started skating with the team this week, and is listed as 'Day-to-day' but still hasn't been taken off of Injured Reserve. But he really, really, really, wants to be back for the Play-offs if the Pens make it in.

I'll get update-itis after the game, so until then have a Pot O' Gold on me:

Update-ish: Evgeni Malkin was a monster on the ice. A 5 point night 2g-3a to help lift the Pens past the Thrashed 6-2. (technically the Pens scored all the goals in the first period and a half, Sorry Scuds) Gonch (1g-3a), Kunitz (1g) Staal (1g) and, of all people Eaton (1g, 2 penalties) rounded out the scoring for the Pens. The FPL turned into the Flower Scoring League when Sarge and Eats broke for a 2 on 1 on Geno's pass and put it past the Moose. Crosby and Le-tank each had 2 assists and Bill Guerin managed to sneak a point in there somewhere. People were shouting MVP! MVP! and then The Tower of Flower Power was caught behind the net with one of the FPL pushed into him, flew across the ice, dove like a maniac and he and Eaton combined to keep the puck out of the net. Then the chant was FLEURY! FLEURY!. I even once heard MOOOOSE!, (it's easy to be magnanimous when you're ahead by 4 goals.) And the Power Play actually had POWER... which is good. I think they've found a configuration that might start working for them. Once again, more tomorrow when the vids are posted... until then, be cool as a Penguin:

Punters and Lucky 7's:

Your FSN announcers Error on the left and Stogie on the right

Marc Andre Fleury faced one less shot than the stats say he did. I don't care who holds the gun on me, the third Panter's goal was kicked in! I saw it, you saw it, somehow the footage was sabotaged between Pittsburgh and Toronto, 'cause the guys in the War Room couldn't have seen the replay that I saw. Ballard looked like he had a Soccer flashback and put it behind MAF. Officially the Flower stopped 18-21, helping the Pens rally to beat the (insert feline innuendo here) 4-3 in a Shoot Out. When the Flower, who had a solid, but not spectacular night, stoned all the Kitties and sent them home. That ties The Tower of Flower Power with Kenny Wregget for 2nd on the all time wins list, and ties his career high wins in a row. What can we say? FLOWER POWER!!

Update-itis: It's just a tease that someone posted of the commercial for Inside Penguins Hockey, but I found it, it's the Flower and I'm posting it, damnit! lol. So without further ado: Marc Andre Fleury, Rock Star!

The Incredible Malk started the scoring with an impossible backhand and then absolutely undressed Vokoun for the second SO goal and the win. After all that good goaltending, Geno made the guy look like a moron. Le-tank scored the other SO goal and nearly killed Vokoun's water bottle in the process. Cookie plastered Booth into the boards for the Sammich of the Game. Crosby went 1g 1a but was blocked in the SO.

Update-inski: For those of you that didn't see it, (or just don't believe me, and who could blame you?) here's the entire shoot out for your viewing pleasure:

I was ready to start pitching things at the TV after the second period, (bad idea...I'm waaaaaaaay too lazy to walk up stairs to watch hockey then back down to the fridge for Sodas. I'd die of thirst!) but the guys never stopped fighting. If nothing else you gotta love that. Down 3-1 at the beginning of the third and they never slowed down, never gave up, kept attacking and it finally paid off. And I'll tell you another thing for nothing. Without Thomas Vokoun in net the Panters don't even get a sniff. The score would be 20-something to 1. The Pens shot the puck 50 TIMES! That's the most ever (this season). Vokoun absolutely robbed Jordan Staal on that one rebound. Someone get me the number for 911, cause I'm calling that one in. As usual, more to come as the random thoughts bounce around my skull. For now I'll leave you with this: