FPL and Marilyn Monroe:

Change this picture slightly, put Flower in the background instead of Chris Mason, put a flightless fighting fowl on the sweater of #77 and you'll have some idea of what might happen next season. The Penguins have just picked up defenseman Jay McKee from the St. Louis Blues (ok, I'll take back the hockey wasteland crack) for an absolute steal 1 year $800,000 salary. The Blues are paying him 4
times that (2.63 mil) just to not be on their team. The bought him out of the last year of his contract to avoid the cap hit, which explains how the Pens can afford such a good defenseman at what basically amounts to a Dollar General Store price. He's had some injury issues the last couple of years, but we've dealt with that sort of thing before (Eaton). He's a shot-blocking defensive-defenseman and can help plug up some of the gap left by Scuds heading for Tinseltown. The Puckhuffers duo are already drooling over this 32 year old blue-liner's .... uh... attributes? As well as his physical prowess.... on the ice, of course. (Last I heard they were talking about eating Cupcake? I don't get it) One thing I want to know in all this is.... Who is it that hovers over Wiki with all news tabs firing? I swear during free-agency the player pages change faster than the ink dries on the new contracts. McKee was listed as a Pittsburgh Penguin before even Shero knew about it, I think. Oh, and by the way..... Greg over at PuckDaddy has a slightly different view on our newest FPL member. It seems that some incriminating photos from Dan Hinote's wedding have resurfaced, and Jay-bird is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan.... That's ok, Jay. I'm sure you're not the first hockey player to succumb to the allure of ... ok you're not the first to have too much Champagne and put on a dress, wig and falsies..... No wait. I can't think of anyone else that's done it, maybe you are the first. Oh well, welcome to the Pens. And remember, what happens in Vegas.... should have never happened. And if it DID happen, there never should have been a picture. But if there WAS a picture then.... you're screwed buddy, with the Internet this thing's going to be around forever....

Winter Classic?: The League is making a 'Major announcement about a special event' at Fenway Park in Boston next week. (uh.... let me guess.... )

Wed. 2:00 pm the League will announce.... oh who knows what, (Puckdaddy has some interesting speculations) and it will be simulcast on NHL network and NHL.com. One thing we can just about bet on: The Broons will be playing the St. Louis Blues in the Winter Classic this season. And how do I know that? All you have to do is keep track of where Ty Conklin is playing this year. He's moved to a team in the WC every summer before they played in it..... So far, the Deadmonton Oil-cans, the Pittsburgh Penguins and the Detroi-it Red-rags. So the Blues are a shoe-in to get tagged for the game this year.

I Was Only Gone for a Week! :

Personally, I think the Edmonton Department of Public Health takes the possibility of my visit a bit too far.

Sorry for the hiatus but I had to make a pilgrimage back to the Homeland. I missed out on a few things.... Maximus' surgery,(how well could he have played with two shoulders?)Guerin and Feds re-signing, Scuds and Gill leaving, (Sad!) signing Conner and Lee to the team, I somehow completely missed the Penguin's Facebook Page, Kris Le-tank and TK doing the weather on KDKA, Marc Andre Fleury, Sidney Crosby, Jordan, and the other two Staal brothers all getting invited to Team Canada Hockey Camp, the Penguins getting picked #3 in Fan Relations, (whatever that means) and possibly the end of life as we know it..... Ok, got a little carried away there, but that's just a sample of the stuff I missed out on by being in the Hockey Wasteland that is the Midwest for a week. (and yes, the St. Louis Blues are included in that) It's nice to be back in da' Burgh where people don't ask, 'What team is that?' when you're wearing the colors.... sheesh.

So, more random actions to come. When you least expect it.......... Expect it!!

Pure Laziness:

As I wait for the 2009 NHL draft and the 30th pick therein, I was watching the NHL Channel, and caught one of their 'special' programs. (no, not 'The Day That Changed Hockey for the 7,436th time) You know the one where they follow the 4 or 5 guys, the ones that they think will go 1-4 in the draft and that one 'human interest' guy who either could be a possible draft sleeper or some one's son, or whatever. Well, anyway, they were following Stamos around prior to his being picked first by the Lightning Bugs (yeah, I like watching mysteries I already know the solution to) and when he talked about 'getting his nap in before the 7:00 start of the draft', it struck me.... Hockey players are lazy bastards. Think about it.... they work 3 hours a night, 2, maybe 3 nights a week for 8-9 months a year. (try making the rent on those hours with your job) What they call 'practice' basically amounts to skating with their buddies for 2-3 hours on days they don't 'work'. (and since most of them are Canadian they'd be doing that anyway) Then they go home and, even if they don't have to 'work' that night, they go to sleep for their afternoon nap! If they're any good at their 'job' they'll retire in their early 30's (except for Chelios who's trying to be the Dick Clark of hockey) then they'll either open a bar/restaurant, a skating rink, or get a 'job' watching younger guys do the same thing they just 'retired' from! I think I'll go slap my mother for insisting that going to school was going to 'be better for you in the long run' than 'playing games with your friends'. I know hockey is physically demanding, but the hours are fantastic (and I'm thinking really hard about those naps!)

Well in their quest to add more young people to this Fraternity of Laziness the Penguins have picks in every round of the Draft, which is a new and exciting thing. Of course their first pick is number 30 overall and then jumps into the 60's then goes to the 120's, and so on. Which makes it sound like the only ones who'll be left will be the hockey version of the (insert derogatory slang word here) left-over geeks when picking for schoolyard basketball, but the Pens have done some mighty things with lower-end draft picks (Mad Max was picked 234th, and we all know how good that turned out) but unlike the NFL draft we're unlikely to see anyone after the first 5-6 picks for a few years. So, be patient, and remember..... they're only accepting the job because of the naps! (I wonder if my boss would go for.... nah!)

Of course this is all prelude to next Wed. when free-agency opens up. I've been hearing serious rumor-rumblings about Syko (say it ain't so!) and The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi (please say it ain't so!), possibly searching greener (Benjamin green that is) pastures, but nothing definitive yet. The rumor lines are mysteriously silent on the subject of Bill Guerin, however. (Listen to Geno. TWO MORE YEARS!!) You get to like these guys so much, it's tough to think about any of them leaving, but then again, if everybody stays how will we get a peek at the Younger Afternoon-Nappers? Ben Lovejoy, Paul Biz-nasty, Luca 'You'll sleep with the fishes' Caputi, or (calm down Vince) Janne Pesonen? I'll tell ya one thing, no matter how it turns out, it's great to be excited about hockey this time of year. Too many 'What's the current crop of losers?' years not to enjoy this now.