The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly:

Coach Dan looks to the heavens and asks, "Why me?"

The Good: Coach Dan's wife can finally pick out those Steeler's towels she's been eyeing, because 'da Coach is going to be here for a while. (at least that's the plan right now) They've finally let out the length of Bylsma's contract (what was the big deal about that?) and the agreement is for 3, count 'em, 3 years. (I know that's what they said to HCMT, but have a little faith) I know I'm not the only one to say that the Pens would offer Dan an invitation if he steered 'em to at least a 2nd round. But I said it, and now I get to say, "I told you so!" (and now I've said it, let's move on)

The Also Good: Marc Andre Fleury knows first hand one of the hazards of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. And that is 17,000 reporters who only show up at whatever play-offs happen to be going on (regardless of the sport) and ask ill-considered, off the wall, or just plain repetitive questions. I mean, how many times can a guy answer the question 'What does (insert team here) have to do to win against (insert other team here)?'. I'm sure he's heard it all before, and he just smiles and chuckles, as if to say 'You guys just don't get how funny this is.'. And after answering he looks for the next amusing question and it goes on from there. Personally I think Hall Gill said it best (and with a completely straight face) 'I think if we score more goals than the other team we've got a good chance of winning the game.' Harold Priestly Gill III knows hockey.

Someone who looks less comfortable with the media is Evgeni Malkin. Frankly, the guy is looking like he's regretting learning English. He's trying really hard, but if you pay attention he's not actually answering the whole question. And if he gets any more nervous about being in a 'scrum' interview he's going to start knocking people down pacing back and forth. It's ok Geno, I've lived here all my life and sometimes I can't even tell what those guys are talking about.



The Bad: Due to the NHL's deep seated desire to obsequiously (is that really a word?) suck at the Network tit, the Pens won't play until Saturday when NBC can afford to carry the game. Check this: The Capitals finished their first round on Tuesday, any other team/year they'd have two days to face their next opponent and it would be just too bad if that team were good enough to finish their series 4 days earlier. But since the League and the Networks can make some major dollars off of a 'Big Star Rivalry Matchup' game, and everyone knows that the numbers (ie: money) is better on the weekend, the Pens will end up with a week off while the Caps get an undeserved 4 day rest. The 'Hawks and Vancouver play Thurs. and the 'Canes play Friday after a 7 game series. I'm not sure what, if any, effect this will have on the series, but one whole week cooling off can't be all good. Bending the rules to cash in on the hype is pretty crass from a League who's corporate front is 'It's all about the game' and 'It's all about the Fans'. C'mon guys, it's all about the Benjamins! Yours, that is. Revenue sharing? Riiiiiiight.



The Ugly: Alex O'retch-kin, because... well........ Look at him!

Pound of Fan Flesh:

There are things you expect as a fan when your team is in the playoffs. Every Pens-addict knows that the post-season will test your blood pressure and anxiety meds, the total capacity of your bladder (can you hold it til intermission?) the tolerance of your non-hockey neighbors (poor, sad creatures) and possibly even your ability to score Prozac on the street. The highs and lows of each game, every series, win or lose, winds the tension clockwork in your body to ever tightening levels. Will the spring snap? Do I reach for the gun, the knife, or the rope? Every step of your team is another step toward or away from that ultimate shiny salad bowl topped stack of silver rings. One team a year gets the glory and our hockey lives are tied into the fortunes of those guys wearing the Fighting Flightless Fowl on their chests. As it should be.

Every fan (who's really a fan) is ready for that stuff. You stock up on Tums, MOM and Vodka and hunker down for the (hopefully) long haul. I want to talk about the hazard you might not expect. The hazard of the Hockey-mate. I used to think that there's nothing I'd want more in the world. A partner who can understand my incurable (not that I 'm looking for one) compulsion to watch mostly-grown men skate around and fling rubber biscuits at each other. What I hadn't counted on was the unexpected physical danger involved with sharing a couch with a fellow victim of this debilitating disease, this Pens-Addiction.

It started with a grab of the arm during a breakaway. Then a nudge with an elbow at an Orpik hit. The first goal scored, it was a bump with a knee as she was bouncing on the couch. Second goal? Two handed grab of the left arm and a squeeze. (not too tight) Third? A grab and a hug/shake. (pretty tight, but I can still breathe) Fourth goal: Double-handed grab/shake/hug, triple smack on the shoulder. (no bruises, but ouch!). Crosby's empty-netter?: Grab/shake/pummel some more, jump in the lap/bounce (accidental?) heel to the shin jumping off-hair grab/kiss. (ok, the kiss part was pretty cool)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Much like the players the fans (I include myself, of course) are used to the bumps and bruises associated with the Play-Offs. You brush yourself off, pick yourself up, and play (or watch) through it. It's an expected part of the game, and, like I said, the kissing part is cool. What I wasn't prepared for was a round of nearly the same punishment when we watched the game replay several hours later on the NHL Channel. Then there was the three continuous replays of On the Fly with a minor variation on the same theme. Then somehow Sunday there was another replay with a similar result. Needless to say, by the end of the weekend I looked like I'd been tied in a bag and thrown down a hill. (but the kissing part was still cool) Once again, this is not a complaint. Merely a warning to all the unattached PensAddicts out there who might read this.

The only other warning I have is, sometimes when you Google 'Penguin with a gun' you get this:

Party Penguins:

Phlyer fan after the final buzzer

There's something about the Pens and an afternoon game that makes me nervous. The guys just take some time to warm up when playing during their regularly scheduled nap-time.

The first period was exciting.... the way falling down a really long hill full of boulders is exciting. Three goals by Philthy in the first period did not look good. They were taking advantage with numbers for the most part, drawing the Flower out of position and then planting it in the empty net. I'm here to tell ya, I was all ready for a game 7 and the ensuing ulcer when Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens got a severe case of comeback-itis.

So... the second period starts, and it's not looking much better. Until Maximus puts on his duking mitts and goes after the recently suspended Carcillo. It seemed like Mad Max lost the fight, but something about his willingness to drop the gloves and go after the Philthy bad-boy lit some kind of fire under Geno's butt, or maybe it was the 'Shhhh' that Max gave the crowd on the way to the box, I don't know, and I don't care. Malkin starts beating on the goal-door, and Feds is there to bang in the left-overs. More 'scrumming' (translation: tag-team wrestling) and more people get to sit in the box of shame.You could feel the change but weren't quite ready to put away the hara-kiri knives just yet. Then 2 minutes later Eats, of all people, scores on a 3 on 1 breakaway. 10 minutes after that Crosby whacks one out of the air at the goal mouth and it was a brand new game at the beginning of the third.

In the third, Sarge didn't wait too long to put in the game-winning goal and then it was REALLY Tums-time. Let's face it, the guys have had trouble sometimes holding a lead, and Flower had already been bitten for three. But The Tower of Flower Power really turned up the intensity a big notch in the third, making several great saves and one 'Oh my God how the hell can a human move/bend like that?' save on Lupul with just 5:39 left to go in the game.

That one will go into the scrap book.

For the cap-off goal El Capitan refused to give up on an empty netter that first bounced off the side of the cage. He corralled it back in, whipped around the net, and with Cookie making room, buried it (and the Phlyers) into the back of the net. Then there was the strange, almost speed-ball type of calm/hyper-tense waiting period until the final buzzer sounded and everyone could slump back into their couches and freak out their neighbors by screaming 'YES!!!!!!' Then there was the sweet picture of rubbing the Phlyer's fans faces in it by making their team walk the 'handshake line' right in front of them. Sure it'd be sweet to have that at home, but there's an evil thrill in having it done to them, in front of them. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel it. For a brief second I almost felt sorry for the fans, but then I slapped myself. 'This is Philthy! Screw 'em!' We wouldn't be Yinzers if we didn't feel that.... By the way guys, you can keep the sign.



Get Ziggy With It: Even with the phenomenal face-off upswing of El Sid (63.5% and 99 FO wins, leading the Play-Offs) the Penguins miss the presence of Mike Zigomanis at the dots. Leading the League at the time of his injury Ziggy was a point of confidence for the Pens when facing a draw in the defensive zone. But now, instead of sitting at home on his injured butt, Mike visited the Children's Hospital's Oncology and Adolescent wing with the team around Christmas and was hooked. He's been back several time to visit with the kids, have his picture taken, sign autographs, and talk about both his own, and the kid's experiences in hospitals. No one knows what next season will bring. Free agency and salary-cap aside, I don't know if Ziggy is the kind of player the Pens can use next year, but I do know that he's the kind of man they can use on the team.