Winners and Whiners:

The Save


With due respect to Frank Pietrangelo the one I'll remember as 'The Save' will always be with less than 3 seconds to go in game 7 of the 2009 SCF when the Tower of Flower Power dove to his right to block Lidstrom's rebound chance with whatever part of his body he could get in front of it. Then with all seconds gone Marc Andre Fleury hesitantly half-raised his hands, looked around to make sure, then flipped the gloves off just in time to catch

his entire team. Staal and Orpik first then a rush. Geno jumps in after the on-ice 5 gather around and Le-tank, jumping from the top of the turnbuckle, lands on top of the pile. (man can that guy fly through the air) Then the rest of the gang climb on, including Syko, who didn't play the game, but suited up to make the celebration, and Zigomanis, who hasn't played in months.

Pop that cork! Stanley's coming home!

Like most Pens-addicts I spent the 36 hours after the game looking for and at replays, running around trying to find the coolest SCF Champs stuff (I scored a non-locker room, champs shirt and a medallion puck so far) and scoping the NHL channel for a repeat broadcast of the game (watched it 2 more times). Also trying to figure out how sick I have to pretend to be to get Dahntahn by noon on Monday to watch the Parade. (haven't worked that one out yet) The Cup had a much more interesting night than I had, but that's as it should be.
There are all kinds of stats and figures out there to be bombarded with but Kim and Zoe (don't call them 'girls') over at Puck Huffers always have their own wonderfully skewed take on the game, and this time down at the bottom of the post they've got links to a six-part CBC broadcast of the Pens celebrating after the game. Much better than NBC or even the, (as K&Z would say) Curry-help-us, local coverage could be. Although I did like Dana Heinze saying 'They Fucking did it!' before Oxenreider could stop him.

Let the Whining Begin: Within moments of losing the SCF the excuses began and so did the whining. This guy was hurt. So and so had an operation, ran out of gas, guys didn't have a chance to play to their level, blah, blah blah. Losers say that a lot. What they'd like to gloss over is the fact that our guys were hurt too. Sarge played the last two series with a torn MCL in his knee from O'retchkin's hit in the second round. Everybody's hurt. Winners win and losers whine, and that's just the way it is. But the whining was turned up a notch by Chris Draper snivelling about El Capitan not shaking Lindstrom's hand after the game. He button-holes some starving reporter and cries about Sid not racing over and shaking Lind's hand...... Bullshit. I've seen the video. Less than 3 minutes after the line started Crosby joined in, but Draper and Lindstrom were already gone. And ya know something Nik? Those things on the bottom of your feet are called skates. If you wanted shake Sid's hand so bad, why didn't you slide on over and do it?Losing sucks, they split, and should have just STFU about it. Croz shouldn't even have to respond to this horseshit, but he did. You know they say that it's not how you win that shows how much class you have as a player, but how you lose. It's a sad state of affairs when a Nazi like Coach Baby-cock shows the most class of the team.

Dynasty?: Les Magnifique was quoted extensively in an article in the Trib saying essentially 'They'll (the young Pens) will be around for the next 10-15 years if they want to. They have a chance to do something special here in Pittsburgh if they want to stick together.' Wouldn't that just be just so nice? Well, a couple of months with that big shiny thing, and we'll see about next year.

Saluting Detroit:

Saluting Detroy-it



It's time for war.
It's been a good run and I don't want it to end. The Tower of Flower Power is not ready to play golf yet. So Max, set that tournament date back another couple of days 'cause we're gonna take this thing back to Detroit Rag City.

GO PENS!!!!



The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi (secret second goalie) certainly earned his Goalie hat tonight. Blocking shots, stealing pucks and clearing the crease on Franzen's shot, with hoards of screaming Red-Rags bearing down on the puck. And then on the 6-5 during the final minute of the game Scuds made 3, count 'em 3 fantastic saves in a row, in front of an open net, helping out his Flower-buddy without whom none of that would have been possible. Earlier Cleary got a breakaway at about 1:35 left in the third and Flower played him strong and got the save to keep the 2-1 lead. But for me the Tower of Flower Power moment was on Zetterburg's shot that rang off the post, an eerie mirror-image to the one in Game 6 last year that MAF put in with his butt, this time Flower looked back, timed his butt-drop and trapped the puck between his legs for the whistle. The camera zoomed in for a close-up and there's Flower, with that smile on his face, and I was thinking 'That's a good omen'.



So, now it's stock up on the MOM and Stoli and get ready for Game 7 in Detroy-it Friday.... I'm still not sure I can survive the wait, or the game.... Time will tell.

Stix-burgh?:

Two crappy shots of a really cool shirt.

There's something about Pittsburgh fans... ya gotta love 'em. First there was 'Blitzburgh' then 'Sixburgh' and now 'Stixburgh' shirts are starting to show their colors around town. All Pro Embroidery has set up the machines to crank out more of these bad-boys. I've seen them at a local J'iggle (that's Giant Eagle grocery store to non-'Burghers) and they're pretty slick. The Title guy in the foreground snapping a quick glove save and the skyline in the background (it really looks better than the pictures) and 'It's our Time' printed on the bottom. All for about 20 bucks. If I hadn't lost my wallet on my last expedition to Lower Burma I'd have snatched one up. (ok, I left it on the dresser) I don't even want to talk about the T-shirt razzing they're giving Bill Cower for running the siren for the Hurricanes. I'm pretty sure it burned my retnas. The only thing I can remember is the word 'Cower-ed' (coward) Bill, man, your girls even told you that one would be a bad idea. Ya should have talked to Bradshaw. It was 30 years before he could come back to town.

But if Burg fans love ya.... they love ya all the way. The Trib just published an interview with Mamma and Pappa Geno. Those two have been adopted by the entire town. And who can blame us? Let's face it folks, they're cute as all hell. One of the best things bout a Geno goal (other than the rise in the score for the Good-guys) is watching 'The Genos' get all hyped up about it. (btw you noticed that the blond that Pappa Geno kissed during the 'Canes series is no longer sitting there?) Watching Mamma Geno dance around waving her towel and swinging her hips with Pappa Geno standing there beaming like a 300 wat bulb. I think they're as much members of the team as any of the guys skating on the ice. Well... they don't score goals or anything, but Geno is sure a much better Play-Off player with the two of them here. With Mamma Geno cooking, how could he not be?

But the fan experience doesn't stop there. It seems that Louise Bella, a Penguins fan somewhere in Da'Burgh, recieved an 8 legged sea creature in the mail from a deranged Red-Rags fan. So what's a Pens-addict to do? Well, she and a couple of guys from the local Primanti shop have decided to do the octopi up right and send him back to Detroit Rag City topped with fries, slaw, and tomato between two pieces of the finest Italian bread. That's right, they're sending it back 'Burgh-style as a Primanti sammich. And as a topper she wrapped it in a Penguins towel. I'm not sure even that Zimmern guy from Strange Foods on the Travel Channel would touch that one. But that's what you've got to do, Folks. Don't answer them in their own language, hit 'em 'Burgh-Style' that'll baffle the hell out of them.

Flower Song: Now that the Tower of Flower Power has won a couple of SCF games news media 'experts' have suddenly started saying things like 'This Flower guy really IS a goaltender' and other enthusiastic stuff like that. I could glean you some of those but screw 'em. PP.com (not a bandwagonner) is still saying 'The Team has always had confidence in Flower' well..... yeah. But Freep.com from the Detroit Free Press in the 'tradition' of Detroit 'fairness' is running a series of articles called 'From the Other Side' and they're gleaning PPG and Trib articles to 'spy on the enemy media' in my opinion. But they've got a nice one from Shelly Anderson about how the Flower is doing the right things at most of the right times. Of course they're also running a Flash-game called 'Smack a Penguin' which I found in very poor taste.

This was going to be longer, but hey... I've got to get ready for the game! Go Tower of Flower Power and GO PENS!!!!!

Penguins are Cool:

Penguins ARE cool. And one of the coolest is the Tower of Flower Power Marc Andre Fleury, who made some tremendous saves in the 4-2 win, was the Game's First Star of the Night. Flower Power saved 37 of 39 and showed some of his tremendous skills. The reaction save against Hose-a in the second was a thing of Flowery beauty (I know, sometimes I just can't help myself).
MAF was on his game tonight but the guy who turned the game around is Gronk himself. E-Staal is finally playing 'like a big guy' in this year's play-offs and finals and it's starting to pay off for him big time. The TK/Kunitz/Sid/TK goal was a thing of beauty. It was almost like they were telling the Red-rags what to do. 'Ok, everyone focus on Kunitz and Crosby and just ignore the Tyler behind the curtain. Various reporters asked 'what was said between periods 2 and 3 and I think the honest answer would have been. "Le-tank, take it easy on El Sid. We're probably going to need him for the next few games." Tank absolutely and accidentally knocked El Capitan directly on his ass after Geno's second effort pass left Sid with nothing to do but put it in the goal.


That's 2.

Rematch City:

It's official. The Pens/Red Rags SCF rematch is about to begin. Try not to get weirded out by the continuous sucking sound coming from Edzone and Croc Emry in their excess of affection for Detroit Rag City. Let the Games begin!

Oh, and someone shoot the Octopus guy for me, would ya? That guy is seriously annoying.

A Tale of Two Goalies:

That's right, Penguins are mad-scary! Well, we hope that the 'Cranes think so, anyway. The Tower of Flower Power seems to be going for the scruffy play-off look now that his 'stache and goatee are filling in. Now he's starting to look like a Rock Star. But he's still laughing at the reporters who just keep repeating the three standard questions. A) What do you think about the people (reporters) who downgrade your goaltending. B) How tough are the 'Canes going to be tonight. and 3) What do the Penguins need to do to beat the Flyers/Craps/Cranes/Wings/ and-or Midget hockey club they'll be playing tonight. It's actually a good thing that they keep asking the same questions (although I think even MAF is getting tired of it by now) because you can't hear what the reporters are saying! I still think Hal Gill said it best, "I think if we score more goals than the other team we'll have a good chance of winning the game." How could you put it any better than that?


Evidently Cram Warp has been dealing with some sort of undisclosed boo-boo over the last few games. But they say that he's felt able to play every time he's gotten in the net. So, either it's a non-factor, in which case they never should have said anything. Or it's an excuse, in which case they shouldn't have bothered saying anything. Your guess is as good as mine. One thing I know (or at least think I know) if the 'Cranes have anything left for the Pens tonight is the night we're going to see it. E-Staal (you know he has a brother?), Warp, and the rest know that there's nothing in their future (sod farm) but golfing (Thunder Bay), and vacation plans (home cooking) if they don't pull out the stops tonight. They're going to want to come out strong and the closer to the finish of the game it gets the more desperate they're going to play. So basically the Pens should score a bunch in the first period, break their will, keep them down and rack up the Power Play time for the rest of the game. It's going to be tough to beat the 'Cranes, they're a good team and they're desperate. This one's going to be too close to call for a simple country Ratt..... Batten down the hatches, stock up on the antacids and alcohol and let the game begin!!

And for those of you who've been missing Bob Error making silly comments here's something just for you....

Unrelated Relative Facts:

Thought it was only fair to warn ya.

Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals will take place South of the Mason-Dixon line in the home of the Hurricanes. Unrelated fact: Danny (Bylsma, not Bi-elsma, Reaugh) is one of the 21 names chosen this year for hurricanes that may or may not hit Carolina. The Pens go into the game tonight up 2-0 in the Series and hope to keep the pressure on the 'Cranes and win one or two 'down there'. I could try to predict the game, scour the internet for the 'experts' opinion to back up my guessing. But you've only got to look back at the last two games to realize that I'm blowing smoke up your butt. No one knows or can predict what's going to happen. Just look at Thursday's game. Start with the score: 7-4. How unreal is that with these goalies? Cookie has a three point night, but no one notices because of all the other amazing shit that happened. How many people thought that we'd be talking about The Lord of the Infernal Realm dealing a beat-down on Eaves? Or the fact that Kris Le-tank's hair would burst loose not once, but twice? (I told you not to mess with the hat) Who pre-wrote the headline 'Kunitz Gets First Goal in 19 Games'? And let's not even talk about Geno's HT, or Pappa Geno getting busted by Mamma for kissing that blond that always sits in front of the Malkin Parental Units. (I'd like to take this opprotunity, once again, to thank them for having sex and the product thereof) Or what about Game 1? Let's all travel back to 7:00 Monday and put some money down on Boucher getting the GWG. Or the least likely thing of all. That VS would actually find an articulate commentator, and then hire him for the Penguins games. I'm no bumpkin, but I was shocked to hear words like 'corpulent' and 'sapient' from an announcer during a hockey game. Unrelated fact: Daryl Reaugh (pronounced 'ray') has a Stanley Cup ring with Edmonton in '88 but his name doesn't appear on the cup. So ask me for winning Lotto numbers, where lighning is going to strike, how many jelly beans would fit in the Igloo or something easy like that. But don't ask me to predict the outcome of Game 3.

Unrelated to just about anything:
Is it just me, or does Harold Priestly Gill III look like a parent that snuck into his kids Midget League game?

Something comes to mind when people criticize the Tower of Flower Power's efforts in the last two series. When you're in the Play-Offs losing is like being caught and mauled by a bear. (just wait, it'll sort of make sense in a minute) Now, when you're running from a bear, you don't have to be faster than the bear.... just faster than the guy you're running with. So far Ward's been the one with his laces untied. (see? that kinda makes sense... in a weird way)

Second Verse, Same as the First:

Two Pictures of the same thing

Tonight Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens will once again face the 'Cranes at the Igloo. Sooner or later you're going to hear a bunch of people ( if you haven't already) pick the Flower's game apart. Every tiny mistake seems to mean that MAF isn't a world-class goalie. Well Ron Cook over at PPG and I are pretty tired of it. Ron had some good things to say about our favorite pointy-lipped French-Canadian. Another Cooke (Cookie Monster, that is) said, " He loves standing up for our team. He loves the pressure." (It's true, goalies are crazy) He also seems to get a kick out of people criticizing him. He just laughs and grins and then goes out and keeps doing what he does. Making big time saves. Some are beginning to see the light after the huge O'Retchkin save at the beginning of Game 7, like Kimmelman over at NHL.com. But there are still too many overpaid ex-player announcers (NHL network) taking pot-shots at the Flower. Look all you doubters,(Emrick) we're saying he's good, not God, although if there is a goalie God, it's likely he's French-Canadian. You don't get this far into the Play-Offs without great goaltending, you certainly don't come from 10th in the standings to 4th in the Play-Offs without you have some kinda major save action going on between the pipes, if you get what I'm saying. Guess who that would be for the Pens? You got it. The Tower of Flower Power himself, Marc-Andre Fleury. But go ahead all you nay-sayers, get your licks in. Bring on the trash talk and the critical attitude. Because much like Marc-Andre, I don't like you well enough to care if you look like an idiot when all this is over........

Waiting and Waiting:

You'd think that with just a couple of hours left to go the waiting would get easier. Nope. It's been a rough 5 days waiting for the start of the Eastern Conference Finals. I haven't even looked at my computer because I knew that would make the wait even longer. And with every news outlet now narrowed down to just 4 teams to cover and 5 whole days of nothing going on I figured I pretty much didn't have to post.They're still riding the Staal vs Staal horse about as far as they can go. Prisuta, over at the Trib, seems to be jumping the gun putting the whole series on Marc Andre Fleury's back. Although the article almost sounded like a revisit of the whole Crosby/O'Retchkin match up since he didn't even mention the Tower of Flower Power until the last two paragraphs. (except the title, give a goalie some love, will ya?) The news? Gonch skated, a bunch of Baby Pens were called up, Super Duper may not play tonight (but they said the lines didn't change.... hmmm), the Staals are brothers and Yanni wore an El Capitan jersey at his concert last night. There, I think you're all caught up for the game. 5 days off and in one paragraph I'm all caught up..... hmmmm.




In further news: The Pope was seen blessing Sidney Crosby's stick, so we've got that going for us.










Well, it's game one, I'm stocked up on antacids and alcohol. Got my lucky shirts set out in order of mojo. (if one isn't working, skip to the next one) Wearing my lucky sweatpants (commando, in case you're curious-it's tradition) all my vudu-pens memorabilia is perched atop the TV.... phones turned off, neighbors warned by the raising of the colors (pensflag), I think I'm just about ready to go.... in that top of the roller coaster kind of a way. It's clanking its way to the top, and we're just waiting for the plunge.... .... .... ...... HERE WE GO!!!

UPDATE:

The Tower of Flower Power was absolutely stellar in the first two periods despite getting tied up with Le-tank allowing the Cranes first goal. A Crane's goal was disallowed after someone managed to topple the Sequoia into Fleury. (Paul Bunyan, maybe?) Flower just went back to work making mind-wobbling saves until Eric Staal (you know he has brothers?) scooted his stick away during a power-play late in the third to make the score 3-2. Despite facing a 6on5 and a ton of desperate chances MAF managed to keep the win for the Pens.

Miro Satan scored the first goal of the night sneaking out of the penalty box and beating Cam Ward with a sweet move on a break-away. Satan has been a class act going through being sent down to the minors, then sitting out the first series. He's working his butt off now and putting points on the board. Malkin scored on a sneaky backhand making Momma Geno do the Happy Towel Dance in the stands. (she had the hips going and everything!) And if only to prove that it pays to keep good guys around, Phillipe Boucher scored the game winner on a 5-hole dribbler that crept over the line. (we'll take it)

The Cranes had a couple of guys go down on leg-contact hits with the Pens. Ruutu (not Ruuuuuuutuuuuuu) looked like he pulled a hamstring when Eats knocked him down trying to slide around him, and Cole going down when he and Cookie crossed paths in the slot.

Well, that's one down..... several to go. Now we play the waiting game until Thursday..... Great... I love waiting........ really........... uh.......... yeah.

Marching On:

And they march on.....

First of all I'd like to send a personal note of thanks to the Penguins, Ray Shero, and Mario 'Les Magnifique' Lemieux and anyone else that had a hand in it, for sending the Crapitals to their respective golf courses.

The Pens WIN in amazing fashion smashing the Craps and Varmalov 6-2. El Capitan re-read some of Semin's (are you sure that's not a body fluid?) comments from earlier this year and punished Wash-out-ton for two of the Pens 6 goals. But it all could have had a different ending if not for... you guessed it, Marc Andre Fleury, The Tower of Flower Power denying O'Retchkin on a breakaway three minutes into the First Period. I could wear my keyboard out describing it, but I'll just be a lazy Ratt and show you instead:

Craig Adams had a surprising reward for all his efforts on the fourth line and PK, (making him FPL) scoring five-hole on Varmolov 18 seconds after El Sid's first. But you all saw the game (and if you missed this, shame on you for 6 weeks) and like I said... I'm so JAZZZED about the game I could do permanent damage to my keyboard....





Two things: We'll know who the Pens face in the Conference finals Thursday night. The Cranes and Broons are tied 3-3, but the interesting game is likely to be the Ducks/Red-rags. Those two teams are polar opposites in their approach to the game and they're also doing the game 7 thing. Could be WAR!

We say goodbye for the season to our favorite targets... uh announcers, and the FSN coverage that has gotten us through the season and Play-Offs so far. Wednesday was the final game for Error and Stogie calling the shots. We'll have to live with VS (where's my gun?) and NBC (Nazi Broadcast Clowns) coverage from here on out. Say what you will about E&S (and I have), they're worlds better than their 'competition'. While they definitely lean in Pittsburgh's direction (and if they didn't we'd hunt them down and burn down their houses) they do their best to be objective admirers of the game of hockey. And as many times as I've said, "Shut up Bob!" or rolled my eyes at some strange polar bear eating a moose story that he comes up with, or wondered if Stogie was even watching the same game, I'm going to miss those guys. So.... Thanks guys, and see you again next season.

The Master of the Pan Flute:

Marc Andre Fleury remains perfection in Play-Off Overtime. Extending his record to 5-0 making 28 of 31 saves to lead the Pens to a 4-3 win Saturday night in Washington. The Tower of Flower Power held the fort during the Craps rush in the first until the Pens could use their first Power Play to get their feet under them. Da 'Burgh boys broke a trend in tonight's game, scoring the first goal and winning the game. Staal opened the scoring with a nice pass from Satan who has been all over the ice. The Craps score two and then Feds who has been a Play-Off beast scoring timely goals recently threw one in past Varlomov to tie it up.

But one of the heroes of the night was the Cookie Monster himself. With a crushing hit on O'Retchkin in the second and a (then) game leading goal in the third. But the big hero of the night was (no not Tom Poti, although we'd all like to thank him) Evgeni Malkin. Geno drew from some unimaginable source the energy to fly down the ice on a 2 on 1 with El Capitan, tried the cross-crease pass which Poti tried to break up but ended up banging it in his own net. I'm sure Craps fans would like to make Poti the goat, but if he misses the pass then Sid just bangs it in past Varlomov.

So it's back to the Mellon for game 6. The Pens have won 3 in a row and lead the series 3-2. And what does this mean? Nearly nothing. Sure the Pens have the advantage in games. The momentum has definitely shifted in their favor, and they return to one of the best home field (rink) advantages in the National Hockey League. But they're not playing last season's Play-Offs, where all they had to do (seemingly) was show up for 4 out of 5 games and then breeze to the next round. The Penguins are playing a team that can, it seems, get away with just about anything as long as they're not found standing over the body with the bloody knife (stick) in their hands. Unlike the old 'Broadstreet Bullies' that you hear about so much the Craps aren't making up for a lack of talent by bashing everything they see these guys have some talent. Of course some of that talent may be in stealing the ref's whistles and hiding them. Also they don't mind playing as dirty as they can get away with to show it off. Don't you think it's interesting that the one player that 'everyone' considers vital to the Pens success is the one that was 'accidentally' injured? The Pens are going to have to come out prepared to either weather the early storm the Craps bring, or match it. One of the good things about coming home is that they'll be able to park The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi in O'Venereal's back pocket for pretty much the whole game. Scuds has been even more awesomer than usual defending against the Grape Ape (Great Eight my ass) and deserves his own TFS award for his extra effort.

Sarge News: The news is.... no-one knows what the news is. TSN reported late Saturday that Gonch would be out for several weeks if not the rest of the season. (uh..... never mind) But Coach Dan was quoted early Sunday as saying that he was hoping that Gonch would be ready to skate either Sunday or Monday. Obviously you can't trust either Canadians or Play-Off coaches to give you the true story. You're probably going to have to treat Sarge like Bigfoot, until you actually see him, you can't believe the stories.

Ratt Rant: I'm tired of The Master of the Pan Flute taking the rap for the back to back games in this series. If NBC hadn't been such dicks to decide that the Craps needed the extra rest to give more time for advertising and the first game of the series needed to be on Saturday afternoon to boost their Market Share then there would have been no conflict with Yanni's concert and all of the games could have been spread out evenly. God knows why anyone wants to hear 3 hours of Pan Flute music, but while you can blame Yanni for bringing Auditory Hell to Earth, the back to back blame rests squarely on the heads of Bettman and NBC.

Too P!ssed to Write:

If Alex O'Retchkin doesn't get at least a game suspension it's because the League doesn't want to screw up their 'Market Share' of the big star rivalry series. Because what he did to Gonch deserves both suspension and a hefty fine. I watched the replay several times and Retch spread his feet to catch Sarge's leg. If it were anyone else.... aww screw it, nothing will happen. The NHL Channel guys are already spinning the hit in what's-his-name's favor. But it was a blatant attempt to injure, and to quote AO himself, 'a dirty hit'.

Update: As I thought, as of this update no action has been taken by the League against O'Retchkin for last night's knee-to-knee hit on Sergei Gonchar. The Pens are making noises about 'how it wasn't as bad as we feared' and 'Gonchar will be a game-time decision', but I'm not buying it. I think they'll do whatever they can to get Gonch back in the line-up, but look to see Boucher (the one they're not talking about) on the blue-line. If Sarge does play (limited, possibly power plays and reduced minutes) look to see Go-Go Gadget Goal doing double time as a winger/defenseman. Bad Idea. The fourth line has been playing very well the way it's configured and Boucher's shot at the point would help make up for the lack of the Power-Play howitzer that is Gonchar's slap-shot. One more thing. The guys can't get caught up in trying to 'pay back' O'Dipshit for last night's hit. They've got to keep doing to him what they've been doing. Put Scuds in his back pocket and leave him there. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself to ... hmmmm say, Mr Orpik, I think O'-Venerealdisease should be mashed into a fine paste against the boards. (vindictive, ain't I?) All in all if the Pens keep doing their thing and put this one in the win column they'll have given another blow to the stake in the hearts of the Craps.... and that'll be a very good thing.

So let's just look at the Tower of Flower Power making a fantastic save on Federov.

Laughed my ass off when Flower told Savran that it was all part of his plan, letting the Craps score first. (first goal in this series hallmarks a losing game so far)Looking for a pic of Brooksie introducing call-up Jay Beagle to the fact that you just don't hit a hitter..... Beagle tried to line up Orpik against the boards but Brooks brushed him off like an annoying insect. Then looked down at Beagle, shook his head and skated away.

Probably see Boucher on the Blue line Sat. And expect Go-Go Gadget goal to get the call-up.... And to the VS and NHL Channel guys.... Anyone that counts this team out just doesn't know the Pens....

The Big Game.... Again:

Marc Andre Fleury, the Tower of Flower Power remains undefeated in Play-Off overtime! The Flower may be perfect in OT, but my nerves don't follow the stats. Every OT game makes me want to reach for the O2 and a sedative.... Let's try to win this one in regulation, huh guys?

It seems like every game for the last three months has been the 'big game'. That's probably because they all have been. Well the 27 hours that will determine the state of the series will be from the drop of the puck Friday to the end of the game Saturday. Best case: Pens up 3-2. Worst: Pens start packing up and calling golf courses. For the record: We like option 1 better. With a win tonight the Pens can have their foot firmly on the gas pedal and can use that momentum to hand the Craps a loss on their home ice and then bring it back to the Igloo for a little home-cooked series clinching action. Like I said, that's best case. Say what you will about the Craps (and I have) if you ever think that you've got them in the bag there's a young Russian in their net that will convince you that you've got another think coming. Let's face it, the team itself has been outplayed for almost every game but Varmalov has been shutting the door on the Pens right and left (I hate that guy). If they have a chance to win this thing they've got to put the doubt into Varlomov's head and keep it there. The guys are putting in the work, they've just got to find a way to reap the rewards.... I'm going to be doing my part. Once again I'll be the one on the couch, in the (almost) new Powder Blue Game Jersey with Satan on the back. (It worked once, let's see it work again)

Other Stuff: It seems that someone on the Internet threatened O'Retchkin's life. (And we care.... why?) Well amazingly enough it was a Pittsburgher. (not really) The Cops traced the threat to a 17 year old from Chambersburg... You mean right next to Gettysburg, Chambersburg? Yep, you guessed it, our 'Pittsburgher' lives 162 miles away. What do you want to bet they'll make a HUGE deal about that PA in his address not to mention the 'burg'? Let's not even look at the fact that this guy is A: a teenager on the internet and B: Almost twice as close to DC as Pittsburgh(99.7 miles). TSN is already calling Chambersburg a 'suburb' of Pittsburgh and talking about 'Retchkin's police escort in Pitt.(those Canadians love hockey in the US don't they?) It's a conspiracy I tell ya!! Those maniacs from PA all want O'Retchkine dead! What a crock.... (Pssst! they're onto us, call off the Hit-Pen!)

Other, Other Stuff: The Pens will now be broadcast into your lives 24/7 as a part of a nefarious scheme to turn you all into Pens-addicts (oh no, too late). The Penguins, PP.com and 105.9 the X are all getting together to create the Penguins Channel on HD radio. If you don't have an HD system (and shame on you if you don't) the channel will be simulcast on PP.com so you don't have to miss a minute of whatever the hell they find to fill all that time.

If it's a Fight You Want, It's a Fight You'll Get:

Tonight's game isn't the last chance for the Pens, but it'll sure seem like it if they don't win. For the second year in a row the Pens have made an amazing run further into the Post-season than anyone gave them credit for at the beginning of the year. But to me (and possibly several others) it's not the depth of the run it's how (or if) you go out. If the Crapitals are the team that goes on to the Conference Finals, then so be it. I'd hate it, but I could deal. But the team I watched fight for the Play-Offs hasn't even shown up to the series yet. Other than Crosby's psychotic scoring spree Monday night the rest of the team only seemed to have a normal game. Normal in the Post gets you an early Tee-time. Somewhere the Flightless Ones need to get some fire. Some one needs to be like Talbot shushing the Philthy crowd. One of the grinders needs to reach up and spit in O'Retchkin's eye, or call Federov's momma something nasty and laugh. Something, ANYTHING to get a fire going, 'cause it seems like the rest of the team is waiting for the spark instead of creating one. A win tonight won't be enough. A win tonight only gets you another trip to DC. Someone's got to get PISSED, and take the game by the balls and make it beg for mercy and then laugh maniacally and give it none. Even if they lose, if they went out like that I could deal with the next 4 months in a Pens-less wasteland. I'd hate it... but I'd love 'em for doing it.



So I'll be watching you, Penguins. I'll be the one on the couch, wearing my brand-new, Satan powder blue game jersey. It's the first jersey I've ever owned that didn't have my own name on it. Let's see if that'll bring a little luck your way. The fight, you've got to bring yourself.



GO PENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LE-TANK IN OVERTIME!!!!! That's One.

You got to start with one. I'm starting to see the Pens I know. The Tower of Flower Power, two weird goals but solid as hell all night. More to follow as soon as I talk to the nice officers knocking at my door..... Something about someone screaming? Is everything OK? I don't know, but it's starting to look that way.....

Party Penguins:

Phlyer fan after the final buzzer

There's something about the Pens and an afternoon game that makes me nervous. The guys just take some time to warm up when playing during their regularly scheduled nap-time.

The first period was exciting.... the way falling down a really long hill full of boulders is exciting. Three goals by Philthy in the first period did not look good. They were taking advantage with numbers for the most part, drawing the Flower out of position and then planting it in the empty net. I'm here to tell ya, I was all ready for a game 7 and the ensuing ulcer when Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens got a severe case of comeback-itis.

So... the second period starts, and it's not looking much better. Until Maximus puts on his duking mitts and goes after the recently suspended Carcillo. It seemed like Mad Max lost the fight, but something about his willingness to drop the gloves and go after the Philthy bad-boy lit some kind of fire under Geno's butt, or maybe it was the 'Shhhh' that Max gave the crowd on the way to the box, I don't know, and I don't care. Malkin starts beating on the goal-door, and Feds is there to bang in the left-overs. More 'scrumming' (translation: tag-team wrestling) and more people get to sit in the box of shame.You could feel the change but weren't quite ready to put away the hara-kiri knives just yet. Then 2 minutes later Eats, of all people, scores on a 3 on 1 breakaway. 10 minutes after that Crosby whacks one out of the air at the goal mouth and it was a brand new game at the beginning of the third.

In the third, Sarge didn't wait too long to put in the game-winning goal and then it was REALLY Tums-time. Let's face it, the guys have had trouble sometimes holding a lead, and Flower had already been bitten for three. But The Tower of Flower Power really turned up the intensity a big notch in the third, making several great saves and one 'Oh my God how the hell can a human move/bend like that?' save on Lupul with just 5:39 left to go in the game.

That one will go into the scrap book.

For the cap-off goal El Capitan refused to give up on an empty netter that first bounced off the side of the cage. He corralled it back in, whipped around the net, and with Cookie making room, buried it (and the Phlyers) into the back of the net. Then there was the strange, almost speed-ball type of calm/hyper-tense waiting period until the final buzzer sounded and everyone could slump back into their couches and freak out their neighbors by screaming 'YES!!!!!!' Then there was the sweet picture of rubbing the Phlyer's fans faces in it by making their team walk the 'handshake line' right in front of them. Sure it'd be sweet to have that at home, but there's an evil thrill in having it done to them, in front of them. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel it. For a brief second I almost felt sorry for the fans, but then I slapped myself. 'This is Philthy! Screw 'em!' We wouldn't be Yinzers if we didn't feel that.... By the way guys, you can keep the sign.



Get Ziggy With It: Even with the phenomenal face-off upswing of El Sid (63.5% and 99 FO wins, leading the Play-Offs) the Penguins miss the presence of Mike Zigomanis at the dots. Leading the League at the time of his injury Ziggy was a point of confidence for the Pens when facing a draw in the defensive zone. But now, instead of sitting at home on his injured butt, Mike visited the Children's Hospital's Oncology and Adolescent wing with the team around Christmas and was hooked. He's been back several time to visit with the kids, have his picture taken, sign autographs, and talk about both his own, and the kid's experiences in hospitals. No one knows what next season will bring. Free agency and salary-cap aside, I don't know if Ziggy is the kind of player the Pens can use next year, but I do know that he's the kind of man they can use on the team.

Lighning Strikes... In More Ways than One:

Marc Andre Fleury made a hat-full of highlight saves, but got little offensive help after the first period in a 0-3 shutout loss Thursday in the igloo. The guys played a good game, but seemingly without the intensity of game 4. Combine that with a tit for tat(where do I get more tat?) game 4 for game 5 performance from Biron and you have a recipe for disaster... or at least a return trip to Philthydelphia. Well have to hope for better tomorrow despite the wonderful Wachovia crowd and the almost sickening Philthy-fellatio from the NBC announcers


Lightning struck the technical operations facility for FSN in Atlanta during the second period of Thursday's game knocking out the broadcast for most of the period. It was soon to be recognized as the omen it was. If that wasn't enough of a sign, Bob Error was actually witty and pertinent during the first period making a quip about the lack of a graphic that Stogie was trying to verbally cue up(THAT should have tipped us off). While scrambling madly to find a pirated VS feed online (found it!!) I was listening to the Venerable Mike Lange on the radio and I realized something. No matter how annoying Stogie and Error get, it's sooooo much better to be able to see what's going on. Mike Lange is a broadcasting God, never doubt it, but with nothing but his words to get a sense of the game there's nothing to distract you from the playoff anxiety running rampant through your body. You can't make your own calls, laugh at the screwy people in the stands, threaten a Phlyer's life for coming to close to the Flower, or scream at the refs for missing something (or calling something badly). Geno's almost-goal is a prime example. you have nothing but the descriptions of Lange (wonderful as they are) to form a picture of what happened. You can't argue that 'The Other 2-Niner' is out of his mind (no argument there) thinking that Malk kicked in the puck, or even groan about the astigmatism of the entire crew in Toronto (or fantasize about small thermo-nuclear devices dropped on Canadian cities) or even speculate about the medications they've been passing around to have screwed up the replay call so badly. In case anyone's counting (besides me) that's twice in recent memory that Atlanta has screwed up our Pens-fix in recent memory. I'm all for driving down to Georgia, finding the little man who's job it is to flip the switch to go to the back-up tower and drown him in caterpillars. In a perfect world we could listen to Mike Lange telling us to 'Go out and buy yourself a new pair of shoes' while we watched the action on the screen and Stogie could go announce baseball, or one of those other 'sports' that no one really cares about...Not sure what to do about Error, he's annoying, but has flashes of entertainment value. Maybe he and Bourque could duke it out for the Mike's side-seat in some major Pay-Per-View event.


Instead of showing some of the spectacular saves from last night's game (if there actually was a game 5) I found this nice Tower of Flower Power tribute vid, it even has the unbelievable toe save in it from several angles.... and who wouldn't want to see that again?

Nobody Move, This is a Stickup:

I'm taking this series, don't try to stop me, or someone is going to get hurt..

Marc Andre Fleury and the rest of the Gang will try to send the Phlyers back across the state to start their summer golfing adventures. Game 5 of the SCPO starts at 7 tonight (you already knew that, didn't you?). It's tough to guess what kind of game to expect from Phylthy tonight. Last season we were all set for a really scrappy (dirty) game 5 and it just didn't happen. It was a clean, no-nonsense game, and the Pens walked off the ice with a big shiny thing that everyone refused to touch. (no, not Staals jock, the trophy thing) We'll have to wait (I hate waiting) and count on the guys to weather whatever the Phylthies come up with. And we're pretty sure they can.

The Pens will have the power of the Lord of the Infernal Realm on wing tonight. Miro Satan will be taking Syko's place somewhere in the line-up. Coach Dan made the decision (or announced it, anyway) this morning. Syko was a bit stunned, but it may be a case of CD trying to light a scoring fire under Petr's butt, combined with giving Satan some playoff ice time. Kris Le-tank got some kind of 'undisclosed' (here we go again) boo-boo in game 4 and will be a game-time decision as to whether or not he'll play. If Kris and his unruly mop sit out tonight, Boucher will step in.

The Pens are calling for a 'white out' for tonight's game and Charlie's Tuna will be giving white shirts out to anyone that walks into the Igloo tonight. I never did see what a big deal this was last year, but I've got to admit, it made a very cool look 20 seconds into this:

I still love this vid......

More to come as the mood strikes me.....