Too P!ssed to Write:

If Alex O'Retchkin doesn't get at least a game suspension it's because the League doesn't want to screw up their 'Market Share' of the big star rivalry series. Because what he did to Gonch deserves both suspension and a hefty fine. I watched the replay several times and Retch spread his feet to catch Sarge's leg. If it were anyone else.... aww screw it, nothing will happen. The NHL Channel guys are already spinning the hit in what's-his-name's favor. But it was a blatant attempt to injure, and to quote AO himself, 'a dirty hit'.

Update: As I thought, as of this update no action has been taken by the League against O'Retchkin for last night's knee-to-knee hit on Sergei Gonchar. The Pens are making noises about 'how it wasn't as bad as we feared' and 'Gonchar will be a game-time decision', but I'm not buying it. I think they'll do whatever they can to get Gonch back in the line-up, but look to see Boucher (the one they're not talking about) on the blue-line. If Sarge does play (limited, possibly power plays and reduced minutes) look to see Go-Go Gadget Goal doing double time as a winger/defenseman. Bad Idea. The fourth line has been playing very well the way it's configured and Boucher's shot at the point would help make up for the lack of the Power-Play howitzer that is Gonchar's slap-shot. One more thing. The guys can't get caught up in trying to 'pay back' O'Dipshit for last night's hit. They've got to keep doing to him what they've been doing. Put Scuds in his back pocket and leave him there. Of course, if the opportunity presents itself to ... hmmmm say, Mr Orpik, I think O'-Venerealdisease should be mashed into a fine paste against the boards. (vindictive, ain't I?) All in all if the Pens keep doing their thing and put this one in the win column they'll have given another blow to the stake in the hearts of the Craps.... and that'll be a very good thing.

So let's just look at the Tower of Flower Power making a fantastic save on Federov.

Laughed my ass off when Flower told Savran that it was all part of his plan, letting the Craps score first. (first goal in this series hallmarks a losing game so far)Looking for a pic of Brooksie introducing call-up Jay Beagle to the fact that you just don't hit a hitter..... Beagle tried to line up Orpik against the boards but Brooks brushed him off like an annoying insect. Then looked down at Beagle, shook his head and skated away.

Probably see Boucher on the Blue line Sat. And expect Go-Go Gadget goal to get the call-up.... And to the VS and NHL Channel guys.... Anyone that counts this team out just doesn't know the Pens....

When It Quacks Like a Duck:

I've been known to overlook the occasional faux pas (I know, it's another language, deal with it) delivered on the ice. I've even sugar-coated most of December (5-8-1) and I've been guilty of glossing over most of January (5-8-1) but I just can't make nice about what happened Sunday in the 'Where's the Sunshine State'. The Pens looked like they'd been replaced by time-warp doubles from Dec-Jan after El Capitan took on Ballard for upending Geno with a hip-check that sent him for a hockey version of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. El Sid will never put fear in the hearts of apposing tough guys, but he did have a WWF take-down move. With Sid in the box the whole team just seemed to unravel a bit during the second period and didn't even look like themselves until just minutes left to go in the third. By then it was too late, as we all know by now. Marc Andre Fleury faced 26 shots and allowed 4 goals. Flower made some good saves, and the defense were doing their jobs for the most part (Scuds blocking that shot and clearing the rebound on the PK, Orpik riding what's-his-name right through the crease and into the boards) but the guys kept giving up the puck around the blue lines or in the neutral zone, or turning the puck over on the lead pass out of the zone. All the bad stuff they were doing for those two months when we were all wondering if they were playing for good draft picks, or something. I'm going to have to apologize for Sniper Kitty failing to make the trip to Florida and that should explain why niether Error or Stogie were taken out for their jinxing comments at the end of the first period. It's going to take some Major-League meditation for the Ratt to get calm for Tuesday's game in Tampa. But enough about the bad stuff, on to Other Things.

Other Things: Tyler Kennedy has been scoring goals, crashing the boards, and just about running over anyone who tries to get between him and the puck. One fine example of that was during the Raggers game when he jumped IFHSA and beat him to the ice.

TK has been called the 'Energizer Bunny'. Which is apt enough, I guess (he does bring energy to the game and the team) but it sounds wimpy and cutesy and doesn't fit at all on a guy that regularly takes runs at Zedano Charra who tops him by about 12 feet. (ok, it's only 2 feet, but still...) So I have decided to consider TK the Pens version of DareDevil. Because on the ice, he is The Man Without Fear.

Evil Penguins:

Marc Andre Fleury will lead the 'Evil Penguins' from between the 'Evil Goalposts' tonight against the Habs. Joining them for the first time in quite a while will be Luca 'You'll sleep with the fishes' Caputi. Tyler Kennedy is being spanked for one game for doing something well deserved to one of the Laffs in Saturday's game, so Caputi will jump right on the fourth line. Actually, 'caput' is 'finished' in German, so maybe I should call him Luca 'the finisher' Caputi... I'll have to think about that. The Croz was named Second Star of the Week for his........ well, his boyish demenor and I guess he was just too damned cute to say 'no' to.... Ok so it was for the 8 points (3 goals 5 ass.) which led all scorers last week.

Evgeni Malkin has been named 'permanent' alternate captain for the Pens. After trying it out on just about everyone starting with Geno and Orpik, HC Therrien has decided that Geno is 'the man'. Sergei Gonchar has been named the to the other 'A' jersey, but until he marches back into the line-up Brooks will hold onto it for him.

Speaking of 'Sarge', the training staff has taken away his 'red shirt' allowing Sergei to participate in contact type practices. Ok, I realize the whole 'baby steps' concept, but now I'm starting to get impatient because it seems as though 'baby' has been making a lot of those 'steps' recently. As a matter of fact, 'baby steps' seems to be tear-assing across the floor. And now I want 'baby steps' to get his Russian butt back on the ice where I can see him.

News From Canadia: It seems that the Canadiens will be without their top scorer indefinitely. Robert Lange suffered an Achilles tendon tear Sunday. He was, evidently mashed into the boards by Stephan Yelle. Carey Price hasn't been the same goalie that shut down the Pens since coming back from an ankle injury and doesn't quite have the same mobility side-to-side. I hope no one will think me too mercenary when I say that I feel for Robert and Carey, but have absolutely no sympathy for the Canadiens. Their problems as a team just make me giggle. Speaking of problems.. I hope they don't trot out those eye-melting uniforms they were wearing when they played the Brunes.... It looked like Boston was playing some bizarre convict team...

More to come as stuff dribbles out of my brain....

Back to School, Back to Work:

If there was one thing that might make you want to go back to grade school, that one thing might be Marc Andre Fleury. I think the Flower might have lost a bet, or something because today after practice he went to the Franklin Regional Middle School in Murrysville Pa. Actually, the kids teacher Dr. James Zeliff (who my girlfriend now hates forever) won a 'take your goalie to school' day at the Penguins Charity Gala. (and that's why she hates him, he won it, she didn't. doesn't matter that she wasn't there, she didn't win) I'm not suggesting that everyone need fear winning stuff from the Penguins. Just the meeting MAF stuff.

El Capitan, Sidney Crosby will play in tonight's game against the Raggers. Evidently, the time off did his knee some good. Matt Cooke will not be playing tonight, or Friday against the Debbles. Cookie has been given a two game suspension for a love-tap he gave Scott (the Whiner) Walker during the Carolina game. Walker ducked into a check by Cookie and caught Cookes shoulder with some part of his cranium, so the League decided that the Cookie Monster was a bad boy and spanked him two games for it. Go Figure.. Chris Minard has been called up for at least a couple of games to cover for Cooke. Paul B-nasty was also called up to add some coverage for the 4th line Bill-me-later Thomas will be centering the line with Eric God-ly taking the right wing . Super Duper is going to be on the first line with the Croz and Geno with Minard doing the 2nd line thing with Staal and Syko. Or at least that's the way that PP.com is guessing it'll happen.

PP.com is also guessing that Go-Go, Brooksie and Sarge all skated together, and maybe with the team, that part's kind of fuzzy. Brooks looks to be back 'sometime this weekend', maybe. He is skating with the team and says that 'it's a little tight at night, but it's much better in the morning'. Whatever 'it' is. (Having a dirty mind, I refuse to speculate further. At least at TFS. My private speculations are another matter entirely) Brooks had an interview after practice and really looks like.... a serial killer in a Penguins hat. And not one of those kind where you can say 'he looked so normal' or 'such a quiet guy, kept to himself'. One of those Serial Killers that scare the crap out of you in a dark alley somewhere and make you have to change your pants afterwards, (if you get away alive, that is). Uh.... maybe I've taken this a bit far....

Post Game Update-ish: Chris Le-tank cannoned in 2 goals tonight for his first 2 goal game ever and first star of the game for his 2 goals. (can I say 2 goals again? it just sounds so good) Syko scored two Staalsy scored once and El Sid made another of his sick, pattented spin-backhand goals (and no one knocked him on his butt this time) as the Pens clobbered the Raggers 6-2. The Tower of Flower Power was pretty damn good tonight stopping 32 of 34 and flinging Rangers out of the crease like it was WWE. (headlock, twist, throw!! repeat) Very good game (translation: any game the Penguins win is a VERY GOOD GAME)

Cookie Monsters and Flower Power:

Other than the fact that the Penguins should skate with 'Fragile' signs on them, tonight's game against he formerly 'Mighty' Ducks of Anaheim was good theater. Marc Andre Fleury stopped 21 of 22 shots as the Flightless Ones defeated the Quackers 3-1. The Tower of Flower Power looked pretty good in the net. I'm sure he was a lot more comfortable facing almost half as many shots as in the last couple of games. Biz-nasty and Orpik disappeared during the game, Nasty returned, Orpik didn't. The dreaded 'undisclosed' strikes again. I was about to explode on Error and Stogie for babbling during the game and missing what happened. Then they showed the replay when they finally realized that Brooks was gone, (about 20 minutes later) and I couldn't see what happened either. I don't know what happened to B-nasty either, except him putting McIver on is butt with about 4 sneaky shots with the hand he was holding the jersey with, but he returned and I let it slide. One thing I did see, and that was two things... Two goals by Matt Cooke. The Cookie monster was one Whitney brain fart or one bouncing puck away from a hat trick. Cooke scored with 21 left in the first and 22 into the second to notch his 7th two goal game in his career. Geno assisted with two goals and tried twice to get Cookie the puck for the empty net hat trick, one of which just bounced over Cookes stick. The Human Sequoia Hal Gill sniped his 1st goal of the year. He also knocked JS Jiggy's water bottle off the top of the net. If he continues he's on pace to get 2 goals this year. (I told you I was bad at math, it's game 46 already) Geno went psycho at the end of the game and attacked Corey Perry and then Gill galloped to the rescue and refused to let go of Perry as he was pinning Malkin to the ice. Naturally we didn't see the start of the fight and Error and Stogie were babbling about anything except the game (again and continuously throughout the game) We got to hear about some guy from Washington County's moustache, Error's moustache, a roasted pig, drinking out of the Stanley Cup, losing the SC in a parking lot, breaking the SC (C'mon guys, I'm trying to watch a game here!) and something about three other players legs but Sidney Crosby has huge legs and a big butt, (Thanks for the info Bob) But almost nothing about Brooks injury, where B-nasty was, and they almost missed Cookie's second goal. Here's something they Dynamic Duo didn't miss, and neither did Flower:

But we still have to hear about some guy on the ice 'looking good'. That's why Potash is the only FSN guy allowed in the locker rooms after the game, these two would be suspect around a half-naked team of young guys.

The Penguins have enough players on the injury roster to start their own wing at a small hospital. I'm not sure what can be done about this, but I think my original idea about packing the guys in foam between games should be extended to during games as well.
More to come on Saturday when I've got highlights of Geno's wrestling match with Perry and other goodies.

Update-ish: So far the only coverage of Malkin mugging Perry I can find is 2:30 into the highlight vid from PP.com. I'll keep searching though.

The Return of the Flower:

We've all waited patiently (more or less) and the day will soon come that Marc Andre Fleury, The Tower of Flower Power, will return to the fans, the team and the goal that has missed him so much. PPG is reporting that MAF will return to the ice Thursday against the Thrashed. "The thing for me will be to just do my job," Fleury said, "Like I can. And like I should do. If I do, I'm confident the team should do well." The team seems to agree with him: "He's one of the leaders on the team." Brooks Orpik said, "When he's in there it gives everyone a lot of confidence." (including the Pensaddicts, Brooks)

Rob Scuderi also chimed in, "You know a guy like him could possibly make a big difference in a game, could really steal a game."

No one is downplaying the role that Sabu and Curry have played in Flower's absence, but they all pretty much agree that Fleury is the man. (Well....... yeah) Flower injected a note of reality to the situation regarding his return. "I can't score goals, and I 'm not going to fight. (uh... I've seen the footage, he can fight) We're a team. We're going to win as a team, and we're going to lose as a team."

The Face-Off Factor has an interesting take on the 'Sabu situation'. They seem to think that Sabourin is doomed to be a back-up, but if someone offers him the right money, and a chance he'll be gone like he was shot out of a cannon. I agree with the second, but doubt the first.

Mad Maximum has a 'slight chance' of playing in Thursday's game according to HCMT, but the're 'aren't many' of the Pens injured going to return for that game. (the list is long and I can't bear to look at it any more)

Petr Sykora was named #2 Star of the Week, today. Having a first career HT and 9 points in 4 games can do that for ya. (I wonder if Syko would like my plans for a Hat Trick hat cannon?)

If you've been wondering how Pen's prospects Caputi, Sneep, Jeffery, and Strait have been shaping up, PP.com has an article for you. Personally I'd like to see Caputi get some Baby Pens action next year and maybe some Pen-ice time too.

Other Stuff: Well folks, it's semi-more than official Sean (IFSA) Avery is persona non grata in the Stars' organization, and has been given advice that he should basically, continue with counselling and possibly find himself a day-job.

Chris Osgood, in my humble, yet all knowing opinion, is the quintessential All-Star backup goalie. He plays harder than whomever he's backing up to prove that he should be #1, and then when he gets the job, he's less than spectacular.(read minor-league material) Says a lot for his competitive nature, but should also say something about making him a starting goaltender. This year is no different: his save% is 8.75 (last in the League) and his GAA is 3.20 (bottom 10 or so). If he weren't playing for a powerhouse like the Red-rags he'd be sent to the minors so fast he'd leave a vapor trail. CBC sports has a rather ambiguous article about the 'star-goalie', you can read for yourself. (but I don't know why you'd bother.

Ali, you've been with the Shop since before I started I think. And when I randomly come across something appropriate (in my opinion, which rules, btw) I just have to post it.

Flowers, Stats and Golden Helmets:

I've tried and I've tried, but I can't find any further footage of Marc Andre Fleury working out. All I have to go by is the brief glimpse I got Saturday night when FSN showed Flower in a conditioning drill. By that token I'd say that he moved well through the drill, but the Authorities still insist that he hasn't made it through an entire practice. All I know is I couldn't make it through that one drill and I haven't had an 'undisclosed lower body injury' in years.

Sidney Crosby may be the single beastliest player in the League this last week. Second in the League in points (34) Third in goals (13) and third in assists (21). He's scored 5 goals in the last two games including his second career hat trick in Saturday's game against the New Jersey Debbils. The guy even manages to make an empty net goal look exciting.

In a purely unofficial stat he also leads the League in goals scored while sliding on body parts other than the skates. Is there any way that we could get someone to trip him for every shot? That could boost his totals right through the roof. A player like El Capitan is something that every hockey team wants one of. He's ultra-talented, he's personable, even tempered and actually seems to like the fans he's playing for. Any team that had just one of those would consider itself lucky. Picksburgh has more than one, the Flightless Wonders also have Evgeni Malkin. Geno is first in the League in scoring (39) first in the League in assists (29) and while his 10 goals make him 28th in the League he's only 3 behind his teammate for third place and has also scored a HT last week. He's a big, Russian hockey playing version of Jethro Bodine ( no insult to Geno, but imagine him in bibs and a straw hat.)and a player who likes da Burgh. It doesn't stop there. The Pens back-up goaltender is leading the League in goals against average (1.84) and is fourth in save percentage (.930). On the FPL side of the ledger there's Brooks Orpik who is second in the League in hits (87) and Rob Scuderi, who's 6th in the League in blocked shots (60) add this all up and what do you get? Let's go to the map. My big schedule on the wall is marked with Wins in orange ink (random choice, no color significance) and Losses and OTL in purple and it's saying I'm going to need a new orange Sharpie before long.(I'll buy a whole box, I don't care) The Pens went 9-2-1 for the month of November, making them 14-6-3 for the year. They're 5 points behind the Division/Conference leading Rangers with 4 less games, and they're missing their two best defensemen. I don't normally like stats, but once you get into them they're harder than quicksand to get out of. Someone throw me a rope so I can get out of here.
Non Stat Stuff: Ryan Whitney has completed his first full week of practices, but doesn't seem to want to promote wild speculation on his condition. (yeah, that whole 'undisclosed' thing doesn't invite speculation, does it?) He says his status "Doesn't change on a day-to-day basis. It's more week-to-week. Once you get a day off, usually it feels better the next day." And what about full-contact drills? "Hopefully, at the end of the road trip this week I'll be doing everything in practice." Speaking of 'undisclosed', Phillipe Boucher is day-to-day (seeing a pattern here?) with whatever injury he sustained in Friday's game.
Janne Pesonen has been sent back to the Baby Pens. (sorry Vince) I know some will disagree, but I think this is exactly the correct way to handle Janne with the current situation. His inexperience in the NHL needs to be balanced with the needs of the team. Sticking him in when they can gives him some familiarity with the League and the Team. If the situation ever comes up where they need him for an extended period of time it'll make his transition that much easier.
Further Finnish News: The Trib put out an article this morning about JP and his desire to remain in the Big League. Coach T likes what Golden Helmet is doing in the AHL, but hasn't' yet had the ice-time time to assess him in the NHL (but doesn't he assign ice-time?). Janne seems to have a hungry attitude about his chances. "I want to be here, and I want to get a place on the team." Pesonen said before the Devil game. "Playing in the NHL has been my dream since I was a kid. I definitely want to be a better player. I'm not happy with the way I am right now. This is the biggest challenge, and I'm looking forward to it." Molinari, over at PPG.com answers a Janne question over at Pens Q&A, and seems to think they ought to play JP or trade him. Easy there, Dave, it's his first season.

Also, because I think the thankfulness should never end, and I like swiping stuff from other sites... I have this from The Penguins Experience:

Debbils, Brothers, Barenaked Ladies, and Hat Tricks:

Sidney Crosby (now tied for second in points with 30) did his best to give Marc Andre Fleury a win for a birthday present with two goals last night in Buffaslugville, including one sick goal where he contributed his own redirection. But such was not to be. Pens lose 4-3 after giving up two goals in the third. John Curry made 28 saves and looked fantastic at times with several quick-reaction saves in the third period to keep the game even and then close, but the Pens couldn't keep the puck in the offensive zone or control their own zone with the 'Slugs buzzing around. (I didn't know slugs could do that are they slugs or mosquitoes?) Pesonen didn't get much ice time, but was solid while still needing more familiarity with the speed and style of the big League to show more of his offensive capabilities, if he has any, (sorry Vince) Phillipe Boucher left the game early with the dreaded 'undisclosed' (I still hate that) and did not return, mixing up the FPL and causing some problems with the power play which ended up a dismal 0-7 on the night.

The Flightless Ones will be facing long time nemesis New Jersey tonight without the services, once again of the Flower, whose still 'undisclosed' injury is now classed as week-to-week instead of day to day. (... and there was much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth) According to PP.com Dany Sabourin is slated to play in net tonight and Janne Pesonen will remain with the Big Club and play on Malkin's left wing. They go on to say that the Pens have struggled a bit with teams that play the trap (Debbils, Red Rags, Minnesota Tame to name a few) Frank, at Pennsburgh.com (who has been cleared of all collaboration charges) lists the bookload of injuries that the Debbils have suffered recently including center and all around bad guy, John Madden, who injured his foot and did not make the trip to the Igloo today. John Mattau will return from his latest two game suspension for tonight's game and Scott Clemmenson who's been hot will probably sit in net. The Hockey News notes that the 4 of the teams that NJ has beaten in their 5 game winning streak all.... well... suck.

Game Stuff Update: The Penguins do not suck, therefore the Debbils could not beat them. Finally we see an entire 60 minutes of hockey. Sidney Crosby has woken up from whatever goal scoring coma he's been in for the first quarter of the season. Scoring the Hat Trick(I got so excited I threw my Harley Davidson hat at the TV) tonight to score his fifth goal in two games. El Capitan is now solidly in second place in scoring with 34 points with 3 goals and an assist tonight. He even makes empty net goals look exciting. Geno stretches his lead on everyone but the Kid to 37 points with his two assists. Syko scored the other goal off a nifty saucer pass from El Sid right in front of the net. And no further disrespect to Stogie, but I don't care how 'not fair' it is that the Pens have Sidney. Sabu looked very solid in net, steering everything that he didn't glove off to the corner. Other than a rash of Penguins landing on their butts for no apparent reason the Flightless Crew looked pretty damn good.

Flower Sighting: FSN showed a brief glimpse of the Tower of Flower Power working with the conditioning coach and to my untrained eye he looked pretty good. He seemed pretty sharp in the movement drill they showed and it just took me to an even higher happy place than the game alone could have.

Other Stuff: Did you know that Brooks 'the Hammer' Orpik has a brother? And that Andrew (the bro's name) plays forward for Brook's Alma Mater, Boston College? Well, if you knew all that, then the news that he's equalled his big bro's season goal total (2) in one game against Harvard won't come as much of a surprise. Nobody tell Stogie or Error about this, they've got enough hockey brothers to babble about.

The Barenaked Ladies (no comment) have re-tooled the Hockey Theme for TSN, but it won't be released for another month. Tyler Stewart, the 'Ladies' drummer said it was also a thrill for the band because, "It means so much to so many people across the country" I assume this country is Canadia, because I couldn't tell you what the 'Theme' sounds like and I've been watching hockey for a while now.

Undisclosed Buffaslugs:

I was doing research for today's blog (translation: wandering the Internet aimlessly) when I stumbled onto an old post at Ingmar Bergman Shoots! ( I have no idea what a Swedish filmmaker has to do with hockey, even in Canadia, so don't ask) and ran onto this amusing little pic where the ubiquitous Buffaslug was done to death by every logo in the League including the Fighting Penguin. After clearing the tears of laughter from my eyes I swiped part of it and brought it here. The Online Urban Dictionary defines the Buffaslug as: The new logo of the National Hockey League's Buffalo Sabres, so called for its slug like appearance. The Sabre's Buffaslug is one of the most poorly designed logos ever concieved by a major professional sports team.

We (I think I speak for Chris as well) at the Shop do not consider the logo to tell the whole tale of the team, but let's face it, silly is silly.

Game-ish Stuff: Mad Maximus joins his friend and fellow French Canadian Marc Andre Fleury in the 'Day-to-day undisclosed injury' club. The only difference being that there's footage (bad pun alert!) of what happened to Maxime and none on Flower. Max was seen walking around on his own feet so speculation (which is all we have) is that he hasn't broken anything in his left foot. The other notable thing about this is that 'Golden Helmet' Janne Pesonen has been called up from WBS to fill the hole in the lines left by Talbot's tender tootsies. Vince, over at Pesonen and the Pens is already drooling over his Turkey leftovers in anticipation.

D.O. over at Die By the Blade has done a Pens scouting report with a bit of help from Frank at Pensburgh who returned the favor by doing a Sabres scouting report. (I sense collaboration with the enemy Captain, set phasers on, 'WTF?') D.O. seems to think the Pens are some scary third period Flightless Birds, but the defense and goaltending situation has him puzzled. (Hey, join the club!) Frank thinks that with Vanek out with the dreaded 'undisclosed' the Pens have an edge in offense and the 'Slugs are too inconsistent in every other category to tell what kind of team is going to show up for the game. (I hear a lot of 'your guess is as good as mine in there)

Things to be Thankful for: Brooks 'The Hammer' Orpik can be thankful that the Pens are going to play in Buffalo, as he is from the area and will get to spend the Holiday with his family. But then again, I don't know his family, so I can only assume he'll be thankful for that.

All the Pensaddicts can be thankful that El Capitan, Sidney Crosby likes to play in the 'Burgh of the Three Rivers. "I live a pretty simple life," Crosby said, "I want to play somewhere people are interested in the sport, and for an organization that cares. I've got a lot of that in Pittsburgh. I feel pretty fortunate to be there. It's not the biggest city, but it's a city I really like" Aw Sid, we're kinda fond of you too.

And finally, Tower of Flower Power fans can be thankful for Youtube, as it's the only place for the last two weeks we've been able to watch the Flower.

Hungry Penguins are Dangerous:

These guys are still pissed about that last Oiler spill
Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens will crank it back up tonight after a 4 day lay-off after a decent win in St. Louis. The only things the same about the line-ups tonight are the Crosby line, Flower in net, and the logos on the sweaters.
Offense:
Talbot-Crosby-Satan
Dupuis-Malkin-Sykora
Kennedy-Staal-Cooke
Bissonette-Zigomanis-Goddard
Defense:
Orpik-Letang
Scuderi-Gill
Sydor-Goligoski
Goaltender: The Tower of Flower Power
You'll notice that Dupuis is back from that dreaded undisclosed injury, (I looked it up in a medical book, and I can't find an 'undisclosed' anywhere on the human body) and will play tonight, you'll also notice that Eaton is a healthy scratch for the second game in a row. He and the staff have had conversations. But Eaton, who acknowledges that he's not quite up to par, is keeping mum about the whole thing. Methinks someone is being spanked.
Flower Vid Alert: Post morning skate vid from today:
Contrary to popular pre-season belief, no one on the defensive squad is panicking. Other than a moderate lack of scoring, everyone thinks the defense is doing a (I can't help but say it) bang up job. Even though they're 25th in the League in shots allowed (32.4 per game) they're 7th in goals allowed (2.33) (hmmm might there be some stellar goaltending going on there?) "These guys are doing well at keeping the shots to long range shots. As a goalie, you like that." says Fleury.
Orpik thinks it has a lot to do with not feeling sorry for themselves about what they're missing. And the Human Sequoia that is Hal Gill? He says, "It doesn't surprise me. This is a proud group."
Michel Therrien finally responded to the disjointed ramblings of Alexander Semin made about El Sid today. He laughed when he answered, but he was giving the reporter Canadian Death Eyes while the dude was asking the question.

More to come as the random numbers in my head jell into semi-coherent thought.......

Flowers and Satan-ic Penguins

Marc Andre Fleury and the rest of the cast skipped practice to play soccer Monday. No, they didn't hold a mutiny, and no one tied M. Therrien down and taunted him by pelting him with soccer balls. Mike decided it was a 'good day to go to the gym' so while only 4 Pens went through skate drills, everyone played a little pick-up soccer and then hit the weights. Crosby and Cookie manned the goals and according to MAF, 'Satan made everyone else look bad'. Miroslav Satan may be making everyone look bad playing soccer, but The Lord of the Infernal Realm is looking pretty good on the score sheet. He leads the team in goals (6) and with his 4 assists he's third on the team in scoring.

Flower had his say after practice today about playing the Oilcans Thurs.

The Tower of Flower Power, feels that any team in the NHL is worthy of respect, and that a goalie 'always has to keep himself ready'.
Other Penguin Stuff: Brooks Orpik, Eric Goddard, Phil Borque, and Brian Trottier were all at Clark Cheverolet Mon. night signing autographs for an un-named charity. They were signing anything that you brought in, or bought there, and the proceeds were all going to charity. (I hope that Brian has learned to clean up his language since this vid was made) (warning NC17 content) Ultra Marathon man Phil Rosenstein is running across the country for the Mario Lemieux foundation, and will be honored at the game Thursday. He started out in Cali (Santa Monica) and ran Rt. 66 to Chicago then, via Picksburgh, to Atlantic City NJ (hey, fit guys got hit the tables too) in about two weeks. There would have to be a LOT of really big guys I owed money chasing me with objects of mayhem to make me run down the block, so I have nothing but respect and bewilderment for this guy.
Marc Andre Fleury, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Sergei Gonchar, and Ryan Whitney have all been named to the All Star-Fan Ballot. Voting will begin Nov. 12, and fans can vote as often as they like. I'll post the link as soon as the voting starts. (hint, hint). I'm not sure what 2 players that are on the IR are going to do if they're voted in, but I'm willing to find out by shamelessly voting for them repeatedly.
Other Goalie News: Martin Broduer will have to wait 4-6 months to continue his quest to eclipse Patrick Roy and Terry Sawchuck's records. What was originally lied about (preliminary diagnosis) as an 'elbow bruise' turns out to be a torn biceps tendon in his left elbow. Uncle-Daddy is 7 wins shy of Roy's record 551 and 5 shut outs shy of Sawchuck's 108. He'll undergo surgery Thursday and the team 'will be making no further comment until after the surgery'. Big deal, most of what they've said so far you can't trust anyway. If you get the idea that I don't like 'non injury disclosure hockey' you wouldn't be far wrong.

Meet Me in St. Louie, Louie:

Marc Andre Fleury allowed 3 goals on 22 shots in the Gateway City to give the Blues the blues. The Tower of Flower Power had a solid, sometimes flashy excursion between the 'arches' in St Louis, despite allowing 2 goals on only 4 shots in the first, at which point many bridges in the Golden Triangle where crowded with despondent, soon to be damp, Pensaddicts. Flower and the FPL tightened up, and shut down the Blues and their #1 PP for most of the rest of the game. MAF will be at BC Sports in the Ross Park Mall from 12:00-1:30 Sunday to sign autographs (if you buy a little 50-60 buck autograph ticket), sorry, slipped up on this one and didn't get the news until late.

Recap-ish: The 'Saved by Zero' commercial must die the death. Ok, that being said, about halfway through the first, Wolverine (Jackman, get it?) scored off a sneaky boomerang shot that didn't stay in the goal for more than a second, I was hopefully waiting for the replay, but it betrayed me by showing that the shot actually went in. Later, on a bad call/hipcheck/trip on Brooksie, Malkin (who let's face it, doesn't count face-offs as one of his skills), won two or three in a row to help the PK hold the enemy shotless. That shotless PP thing lasted for the first two periods. Pessonen's gold helmet tangent in the FSN booth, and how Steggies nephew is a better researcher than Steggo. Just when I was about to throw something at the screen during a Pens PP, Le-Tank flips a pass to El Sid who slips it to Satan who picks up his own errant pass to show Chris Mason the power of the Lord of the Infernal Realm with a nice wrist-shot over his shoulder. This would have been much cooler if Oslie hadn't scored off a good McClement pass 25 seconds later. (Cue cheesy Hee-Haw song) Intermission Question: Do they just shuffle those penguin/Potash commercials, or does someone actually watching the game pick them? And why do Potash's penguins get more play than the Pittsburgh Penguins during the break?

Second Period start reads like an FPL report. Scuds made a nice diving play, Le-Tank gets slashed by the God of wine and song (Baccus), no call. Go-Go scores on a nice wrister from near the blue line. Blues try to quick-counter again but the apparent goal was waved off on a high stick pass. Tank comes back and Flower makes a glove save on a shot that I didn't even see on slow-mo replay. Bobbo and Steggo go off on yet another tangent talking about how Alex Pietrangelo pronounces his name different than Frank to cover Steggie's butt for mispronouncing Frank's name all these years until we almost miss Brewer's holding Sid. Just about when you think the PP is hopeless, Geno slaps one from the blue line, through McKee's legs and past a confused Mason to make the score 3-2. Then 30 seconds later TK smacks his own rebound off Mason's butt to make the game 4-2. A few minutes later, Golden Helmet revved up Spaceballs I and mashed some Bluenote into the boards. Kevin and Vince over at Pessonen and the Pens are probably doing back flips watching this. Mason almost brainfarts one into his own goal, Errey almost has an aneurism talking about it. Just before the end of the period, Syko goes psycho on a Blues defenseman who was taking stick-liberties with El Capitan. As exciting as the second was, Error and Stogie want to talk about how Alex Pietrangelo is his own grandpa or the strange, almost West Virginian way that Alex and Frank are related..... I listened for 10 minutes and still don't understand it.

The Third Period was much more relaxing to watch, even though I wasn't counting this one as a win until it was in the bag. Chris Holt, the Blues backup goalie made a spectacular save... from the bench. And then we learned that it takes 4 blues players to take on one Energizer Bunny (TK) and Zigomanis is more than a face-off specialist. Ziggy was working his butt off, blocking shots, stealing pucks and taking shots. Orpik became the defensive beast we all know him to be and put Kariya on his butt. Later, Berglin picks up his own rebound and flips one past the Flower and things are tense while everyone waits for yet another melt-down, until 40 seconds later when Maximus (keep the French-Manchu, it's working) makes a deal with Satan to score his second goal of the year off of a nice clear by Orpik. MAF with some nice work in the final minutes and an empty net gift for Staal from Geno sealed the deal. 6-3

Wrap-up, wrap-up: Got to give the Pens credit. Even though the PP seemed to be more lucky than good sometimes, the PK was simply awesome shutting down the Blues, who despite some problems have a stellar PP. They didn't go into a shell at all in the third, keeping up the offensive pressure and scoring goals. The Zebra patrol seemed to have a bit of a problem seeing some fairly blatant slashing penalties, and the FSN duo had a bit of a problem repeating the word 'jump' 654 times and I now feel like a member of the Pietrangelo clan due to the genealogy laid out by Steigerwald.

Moronic Russian Quote of the Day: Alexander Semin has decided that since Ovie is out of the country he should do what he can to keep the Craps/Pens rivalry going. Either that or he feels safer knowing that it'll be Jan. 14th until he'll have to pay for his remarks about El Sid. You see Sperm the Worm has decided that El Capitan is just your average player hyped to the max. "I think if you take any player, even if he is 'dead wood' and start promoting him, you'll get a star. Especially if he scores 1oo points. No one is going to care about anyone else. No one is going to care whether he possesses great skill. Let's say you put someone in front of the net and let him deflect pucks in , and he scored 50 goal: everyone will say 'wow' and then hand him 10 mil per year." Uh.... 'dead wood' and '100' points don't normally go together. And all apologies to him, but that sounds a lot more like Ryan Malone than Troy and Trina's little boy. Just another case of a guy saying something contrivercial to get a rise and that becomes more important than the relative stupidity of the player making the comment. My advice? When you pay your dues, Alex, you'll get your props. Until then, keep your mouth shut and play hockey.

Give the Flower One Point Again:

Let's see if we all know this song: Penguins take a lead into the third period, get out shot 1,863 to 2 and end up losing the game 3-2. Marc-Andre Fleury looked awesome at times fighting off a Dubinski shot through a screen, a highlight reel diving stick save during a 5on3 penalty kill on Chris (watch him, he's sneaky) Drury and an SCF style double save on some Ranger I forgot to write down.(probably Drury again, I told you he was sneaky) The Tower of Flower Power was 'standing tall' for the shut-out until 5 minutes into the third when the Pens (well on there way to California by this time), started acting like Henrik Lundqvist (who was a beast in goal, damn it) was the carrier of some kind of embarrassing social disease, and refused to go near him for most of the period. Fleury even seemed to get into the absent minded hockey act for a while, and took a 'I shouldn'ta oughten to have done that' penalty by touching the puck in the 'no-fly goalie' zone, but bailed himself out by playing tough in the penalty kill.

Zherdev put in the heartbreaker with 8 seconds left in the game with a wicked shot. The 4on4 overtime was exciting, but unproductive with both goalies making solid saves. The shoot-out? Sucked. There's no other word that fits as well. All three skaters for the Pens were sluggish and Lundqvist didn't break a sweat, making Letank, Syko, and El Sid look like they should go for a shoot-out refresher course. Someone gave the Raggers some bad scouting information when they told them they should go low stick-side on the Flower, the first two shots were in exactly the same spot, with the exact same result... denial. Sjonstrom tries the other side with a flubbed backhand and slid it under the outstretched pad of MAF. Total Suckage: 2-3 OTL.

Flower report: Couldn't ask much more from the Floral one, stopped 42 out of 44 and went 2 for 3 in the shoot-out. Just at the wrong end of the 20 minute penalty kill that was the third period. And somehow I missed MAF talking Friday about the shot he tried in Thursday's game, and the 'what Flower did last summer report:

Personally, I thought that second question had been covered several times already.

FPL Report: Scuds was virtually a backup goalie on the ice again swatting away anything that MAF didn't gobble up, and just a pass and shot blocking beast during the 5-3 pk. Brooks Orpik, was throwing out the hits including one run were he put a Rag on his butt, turned around beat another one to the puck and flipped a nice pass out of the zone. Darryl Sydor (gotta come up with a name for him) played a solid game and should stop off in Vegas on his way out west, because that was one of the luckiest goals I've ever seen: bouncing off two different NY defensemen and past Lundqvist. Le-tank played about as solid a game as he has so far this season, throwing the body, starting the rush, joining the rush and was as close as anyone to matching the Energizer Bunny that is Kennedy. Eaton even showed a couple of flashes of why the Pens keep waiting for him to heal up, blocking a couple of shots and playing some solid defense. Go-Go wasn't quite up to his usual form, but still wristing the shots on the PP, and using the angles in the Pens zone to make up for his lack of size. Hal Gill was back out on the ice today during the conditioning portion of the morning skate, and expects to play sometime during the road-trip

FSN Report: Is there some reason it seems like I'm watching every game in Steggo's basement? Too many times the Stegmeister and Error have been so wrapped up in their stories, that they forget to watch or comment about the game. And here I thought that was what they were getting paid for. I wish we were all watching the game in Steggie's basement, then we could send them out for more beer and pizza just like you do to the terminally annoying at any sports watching party. I'm tired of saying 'Shut up Bob' when he makes some superstition breaking comment, or saying 'Shut up Steggy, we know the Staals are brothers', or just 'Shut up!' at the TV like a psychotic bag lady talking to people that aren't really there.

Final Mouthing Off: There was considerable game-watching going on at times on the 'Burgh side, by players on the ice. Sid didn't seem to have his usual 'this is my game' energy and at the end of the periods was to be found hanging on the boards by the bench, seemingly wiped out. The rest of the offense take their cues from El Capitan and he was just out of gas by the 3/4 mark of each period. Someone needs to smack these guys in the back of the head (watching too much NCIS) when they 'go into a shell' when leading in the third. 40 minutes of hockey just ain't gonna cut it, and it's a bad habit to get into. Getting out shot 44-29 is a bad habit you don't get to the play-offs with.

Post Game Flower Power:

Marc-Andre Fleury was at times spectacular in last nights 4-1 win against the Carolina Tropical Storms last night. Stopping 24 out of 25, to give him #6 in save percentage #1 in saves (ouch), and #8 in save percentage in the league. In fact he was one Brooks Orpik brainfart away from a shutout. Just short of 3/4 of the way through a first period full of choppy, back and forth play, there was a 4on4. Why did E Staal and El Sid go to the bin? We don't know, because Error and Steggo were rambling about... something. But during the penalty phase, Brooks was betrayed by his stick when he whiffed on a cross-ice pass and hockey legacy Brandon Sutter picks up the gift and backhands a shot past the Flower. Brooks snaps the stick in half on the top of the goal, so it will never betray him again. Whalers: 1-0. Steggo (obviously frustrated at only being able to work 7 'Staal brother' mentions in the game so far) used this as a perfect opportunity to go into a long, rambling discourse on the history of the 9 Sutter brothers, the second generation now playing, where they all are now, what their cats are doing and something about... something. He was actually sounding like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon after a while, but the story took the rest of the period (and three shots of the 14 Sutter Brothers) to complete. (I know there were only 6, but it got a bit old after a while)
Leighton played a pretty solid game for the 'Canes and got some help from the Zebra Crew who seemed to have forgotten their whistles in the dressing room for the entire first period. The second was a much livelier period with The Tower of Flower Power making some impressive saves, getting help from Le-Tank on one Staal-Samsonov give and go play, stopping a one-timer through traffic, and making an incredible recovery, dropping his stick to stretch across the net and stopping a Samsinov wrap-around chance. What did we learn from FSN's on-ice reporter? Well we learned that Coach MT has opinions about officials not making the hooking call on El Sid's breakaway chance: "We always get an explanation, we just don't always agree with it." But what we mainly learned from the FSN crew was that Bob Errey thinks that Brooks Orpik is tougher than the boards. I like the 'folksy touch' in announcing hockey games, but sometimes this crew takes it a bit far. Where is Mike Lange when you need him? Oh yeah, he's on the TV without picture station.... I think it's time to scale back the 'Dumb down for the new fans' policy just a touch.
The third period? Crosby tips a Malkin slapper in, and keeps his mouth shut about it in case it was a high stick, Feds wrists a Staal pass into the net, Maximum 5-holes a defender and a goalie in the same rush from a Le-tank pass, and Malkin scores on an empty net off a Siddo pass. Oh yeah, and a certain Floral goalie takes a 184 foot wrist shot that bounces off line to miss the net by about 3 feet, driving the 17,000+ fans insane and nearly causing me to lose the toe my girlfriend stepped on while watching the shot. (medical report: Just a little redness, I think the toe will live)
Flower on the postgame:

Other Stuff: Mad Maximum thinks that the Igloo gives the Pens an unfair advantage, but he's cool with that. And last night saw the return of the 'French-Man-Chu' facial hair. Max probably stopped shaving at 3:00, by Saturday's game he'll look like one of the ZZ Top guys. Max also has a new car commercial. It's not quite as good as the Colby commercial, but when I find it, I'll post.
Seth, over at Empty Netters, has pics of the Student Rush line circling the arena and his usual comprehensive live blog thing going.
You can go to Cane's Country for the opposing perspective.
Milan Lucic can hit! Watching this vid of Lucic smashing Mike Van Ryn through the glass will help you understand what Maximum went through when Lucic was tee-ing off on him on Monday.

(Ed. Note: I will have something special in store for loyal readers when (not if) MAF scores his first goal. It WILL happen! -Chris)

Of Flowers and Scoring Frenchmen:

Marc Andre Fleury stopped 28 of 30 (current .929 sp, 2.37 ga), allowing only 1 redirection and 1 weird bounce off the Sequoia (hey, if that dude in Mystery Alaska was a 'Tree' Gill is a Sequoia), in the second. The Pens didn't let the goals get to them as they kept up the tempo they somehow found in the second period. The first period was a horrific repeat of the last 5 periods of play by the Flightless, but Ziggy scoring off Cooke's pass and FPL member Orpik's goals were a direct result of the team finding their energy and playing Penguin's hockey. Glad to finally see some.
Penguins win in overtime on a loooong Orpik pass and a Pascal Dupuis rocket from the top of the right circle. Cue the Highlight Reel:


FPL Report: It's all Brooksie, baby. 1 assist, 1 goal and 1 interview. Brooks is not taking the whole scoring thing too seriously, but likes the lift in team attitude from what it's been the last couple of days. I think the fan attitude has improved a bit as well. The sound is a bit soft in the beginning, but it gets better so be careful turning it up in the beginning.


PPG has a different edit of the Brooksie interview with a few comments by El Sid.
Oh, Empty Netters is running another of their, 'Jersey pictures of players you barely remember' series along with their running highlight blog.

Pics, Flicks, and Sticks:

My friend Jodie, over at The Sidney Crosby Show, sent me this pic of the Flower at the practice Wed, so I immediately rushed to my keyboard to post it up.
EJ Hradek, of ESPN the Magazine fame (ESPN/hockey=me confused) has a ranking of 10 'people to watch' in the 08-09 season, and no. 2 on the list is the Tower of Flower Power. Now I find EJ about as annoying as everyone else does, but when the guy's right, he's right.
Marc-Andre Fleury, G, PenguinsRecent hockey history tells us clubs that lose in the Stanley Cup finals don't fare so well the following season. Wayne Gretzky's 1984 Oilers were the last team to turn the trick. If the Penguins want to break the trend, their newly minted stopper ($35M, seven years) must build off his strong, albeit injury-shortened, season. Fleury's task will be tougher because of significant injuries to key defensemen Sergei Gonchar and Ryan Whitney. Can the 23-year-old handle the added pressure? We think he can.
We think he can too. BTW, EJ thinks you should also watch Hose-a, but isn't too clear as to why you should. (see what I mean about him being annoying?) also seems to think the Redrags will ditch the Hose after this year. One more note: EJ, Jenny Craig or something man, damn!. Looks like you've found all the weight that LeGreka lost.

Malkin no Rudulov: In a fairly eye opening post, David Staples, blogger for The Edminton Sun, writes about how Gino did have an 11 mil. offer from Mettalurg, and basically told them to stuff it, he liked it here. Also goes on to talk about the 'A' on his chest, and getting his own place so he can have his parents visit occasionally, and (possibly more importantly), bring his girlfriend over for a visit. Quote for the ages: (or at least this season) When asked about his goals for this year, Malkin said, "To make the last step we stumbled upon when we got there last season ... Detroit's good, but so are we ..." I don't know about you, but I think his English is Fine......

One to watch, Future: Check the new Promo-vid, and say it with me, 'It's a Great Day For Hockey!'

One to watch, Past: In anticipation of the North American portion of the season, I dug out this vid of MAF's game-saving goal in the SCF last year. (I know I encouraged you to ditch your Youtube gm5 vids, but I didn't think anyone would actually do it)

One to watch, Present: Keep your eyes on this 'kid' John Curry. He led the WBS Pens through the play-offs last year, and I've seen him in the practice scrimmages. He's sharp, and if Sabu needs to jump the fence to find somewhere he can be a no 1, then look to see Curry step in, and step up to play big league hockey. After being sent back to the Baby Pens he told the local paper that working with the team has made him hungry for more.

Flower Protection League Report: Orpik on Therrien, to paraphrase Clint Eastwood in Heartbreak Ridge, "Just because you let me play, doesn't mean we're going to be taking long walks in the moonlight together". (yeah, I could have used the 'swapping spit in the shower' line, but waaaaaaay too many bad images). According to Ron Cook over at PPG, Brooks and MT aren't exactly 'warm and fuzzy', but Orpik is surprised and glad to be playing in da 'Burgh. And we're suprised and happy having him here dishing out the Free (still not going to say it) Hits.

Other Hockey Stuff: Vancouver smothered the Flames 6-0, Roberto looking snazzy with his 'C' on the chin of his mask. Before the game they had a very cool tribute to Kris Letang's friend and 'Canuck Forever' Luc Bordoun. Or you can watch the whole thing here.

Bad Day at Black Rock:

As if you needed me to tell you, Pens fall to the Sens 3-1. Flower had a solid performance, allowing 3-27 with two quirky goals and a laser of a shot by Heatley on a power play (from the slot again, doesn't anyone listen?). Flower's puck handling was still a bit suspect at times, but with some good saves and a bit of luck kept the game from really getting out of hand. He did end up under about 35 guys at one point, but a poke with the hatchet and some defensive help the puck was hauled out of the danger zone.

Someone forgot to pack the bolt cutters to free the guys from the anchors they were dragging around all night (except for TK, who was doing his Energizer Bunny imitation and Malkin who was a beast). The only bright spot offensively was the defenseman Alex Goligoski scoring from Crosby and Malkin with less than 2 seconds left in the game, giving Crosby one more step toward 300 points (296). Other than that, 5 on 5 didn't work, 5 on 4 didn't work, 1 for 7 for a whopping 1 for 14 for the first two games. Just a case of 'a bad day was had by all'. I'd break it all down for ya, but I'm afraid that would put into a fetal position, sucking my thumb, waiting for the defensive snooze fest that is Devil hockey.

For those of you grasping at straws I will dribble out this one little factiod to keep you away from the sharp instruments this early in the season: According to Bob and the Stiegway over at FSN (and I suppose their able research dude) the Flightless Birds have run Ubergoalie Martin Brodeur out of the net more than any other opponent.

Humble, yet all knowing opinion: Flat, flat, flat, flat. The extra snow up against the boards seemed to disrupt the Penguin's game more than the Redshirts. We all know one of the favored tactics of the Pen's game is to ride the cycle on the boards then chip it out in front and bury it. That just wasn't going to happen with the puck doing its best Weeble imitation against the dashers. Crosby took a couple of classic Ruuuutuuu cheap extra jabs including an elbow to the back of the cranium during a body-slam that had him grimacing on the bench for most of the first. Goddard stepped up when Also: Mucho difficulte' to get anything going with all the line change fiddling going on. I imagine a possible reason could be El Jefe' (real Spanish this time) Therrien's idea for the three over the pond games was to treat them as a continuation of a shortened pre-season. I don't like it, but I can understand it.

Flower Protection League Report: First period Brooksie was a monster, laying out Ruuutuuu (I can't help myself) up against the boards with the Finnish Fling trying to sell a penalty, but the refs not buying any. Then, at the end of the period he belts Alfredson to the ice and attracts a bit of unfriendly attention. Letang also did some crash on the boards, but seemed to be out of step for most everything else. Gill was huge (he just is), he was also very solid on defense though he did let one pass by him that lead to one of the goals. Eaton is just not looking comfortable yet, though Go-Go looked pretty good minus a few rookie bobbles. Scuds had a very average game, but took a couple of shots just in case lightning really could strike twice.

All in all, the only good news for the day would be if reports were true that Brian Engblom over at TSN has finally become the last man on the planet to shave his mullet (probably on orders from Melrose).