Second Verse, Same as the First:

Two Pictures of the same thing

Tonight Marc Andre Fleury and the Pens will once again face the 'Cranes at the Igloo. Sooner or later you're going to hear a bunch of people ( if you haven't already) pick the Flower's game apart. Every tiny mistake seems to mean that MAF isn't a world-class goalie. Well Ron Cook over at PPG and I are pretty tired of it. Ron had some good things to say about our favorite pointy-lipped French-Canadian. Another Cooke (Cookie Monster, that is) said, " He loves standing up for our team. He loves the pressure." (It's true, goalies are crazy) He also seems to get a kick out of people criticizing him. He just laughs and grins and then goes out and keeps doing what he does. Making big time saves. Some are beginning to see the light after the huge O'Retchkin save at the beginning of Game 7, like Kimmelman over at NHL.com. But there are still too many overpaid ex-player announcers (NHL network) taking pot-shots at the Flower. Look all you doubters,(Emrick) we're saying he's good, not God, although if there is a goalie God, it's likely he's French-Canadian. You don't get this far into the Play-Offs without great goaltending, you certainly don't come from 10th in the standings to 4th in the Play-Offs without you have some kinda major save action going on between the pipes, if you get what I'm saying. Guess who that would be for the Pens? You got it. The Tower of Flower Power himself, Marc-Andre Fleury. But go ahead all you nay-sayers, get your licks in. Bring on the trash talk and the critical attitude. Because much like Marc-Andre, I don't like you well enough to care if you look like an idiot when all this is over........

The Master of the Pan Flute:

Marc Andre Fleury remains perfection in Play-Off Overtime. Extending his record to 5-0 making 28 of 31 saves to lead the Pens to a 4-3 win Saturday night in Washington. The Tower of Flower Power held the fort during the Craps rush in the first until the Pens could use their first Power Play to get their feet under them. Da 'Burgh boys broke a trend in tonight's game, scoring the first goal and winning the game. Staal opened the scoring with a nice pass from Satan who has been all over the ice. The Craps score two and then Feds who has been a Play-Off beast scoring timely goals recently threw one in past Varlomov to tie it up.

But one of the heroes of the night was the Cookie Monster himself. With a crushing hit on O'Retchkin in the second and a (then) game leading goal in the third. But the big hero of the night was (no not Tom Poti, although we'd all like to thank him) Evgeni Malkin. Geno drew from some unimaginable source the energy to fly down the ice on a 2 on 1 with El Capitan, tried the cross-crease pass which Poti tried to break up but ended up banging it in his own net. I'm sure Craps fans would like to make Poti the goat, but if he misses the pass then Sid just bangs it in past Varlomov.

So it's back to the Mellon for game 6. The Pens have won 3 in a row and lead the series 3-2. And what does this mean? Nearly nothing. Sure the Pens have the advantage in games. The momentum has definitely shifted in their favor, and they return to one of the best home field (rink) advantages in the National Hockey League. But they're not playing last season's Play-Offs, where all they had to do (seemingly) was show up for 4 out of 5 games and then breeze to the next round. The Penguins are playing a team that can, it seems, get away with just about anything as long as they're not found standing over the body with the bloody knife (stick) in their hands. Unlike the old 'Broadstreet Bullies' that you hear about so much the Craps aren't making up for a lack of talent by bashing everything they see these guys have some talent. Of course some of that talent may be in stealing the ref's whistles and hiding them. Also they don't mind playing as dirty as they can get away with to show it off. Don't you think it's interesting that the one player that 'everyone' considers vital to the Pens success is the one that was 'accidentally' injured? The Pens are going to have to come out prepared to either weather the early storm the Craps bring, or match it. One of the good things about coming home is that they'll be able to park The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi in O'Venereal's back pocket for pretty much the whole game. Scuds has been even more awesomer than usual defending against the Grape Ape (Great Eight my ass) and deserves his own TFS award for his extra effort.

Sarge News: The news is.... no-one knows what the news is. TSN reported late Saturday that Gonch would be out for several weeks if not the rest of the season. (uh..... never mind) But Coach Dan was quoted early Sunday as saying that he was hoping that Gonch would be ready to skate either Sunday or Monday. Obviously you can't trust either Canadians or Play-Off coaches to give you the true story. You're probably going to have to treat Sarge like Bigfoot, until you actually see him, you can't believe the stories.

Ratt Rant: I'm tired of The Master of the Pan Flute taking the rap for the back to back games in this series. If NBC hadn't been such dicks to decide that the Craps needed the extra rest to give more time for advertising and the first game of the series needed to be on Saturday afternoon to boost their Market Share then there would have been no conflict with Yanni's concert and all of the games could have been spread out evenly. God knows why anyone wants to hear 3 hours of Pan Flute music, but while you can blame Yanni for bringing Auditory Hell to Earth, the back to back blame rests squarely on the heads of Bettman and NBC.

Battle Penguins, Battle Update:

Update to the Update: Marc Andre Fleury has the #1 save of the first week of the playoffs with that stunner of a save in game 2. Here's the link if you want to see all 10, or here if you're too lazy to scroll down two posts to see the save itself.... Chris Kunitz had the #1 hit for the first week so two out of three (Crosby's goal was this week, so maybe.....) of the tops are Pens.... good deal.

It's time for all good Penguins to prepare for battle. Game 4 of the First round of the SCPO begins at 7:00 pm (and if you already don't know that..... I'm sorry, I can't help you). After Sunday's loss the Pens are going to have to prepare to kick some major Phylthy butt to win tonight. No word on any line changes, but I doubt if there's any plan to transplant the Tower of Flower Power, despite his being victimized for 6 goals in game 3. Malkin was the beastliest Penguin on the ice Sunday, scoring 2 goals and 1 assist to remain the Play-off Leader in goals (4) and points (7). We can but hope that the remainder of the Penguin Pack can catch some scoring fire from Geno and throw some extra shovelfuls of dirt in the attempt to bury the Phlyers.

I will be posting more after the game.... and if I don't it's because my keyboard shorted out from the tears.... But I remain calm...... sorta.

GO PENS!!!

Marc Andre Fleury is officially Super Penguin! Stopping 45 of 46 shots and getting First Star of the night honors, helping the Pens drop the Phlyers 3-1. The Flower was awesome (I hate that word, but nothing else fits) in goal tonight, the only goal he allowed was after he was pushed into the net by the Philthy that Brooks knocked into him. Fleury made some spectacular saves, earning his cape and big 'S'.

El Capitan scored the first goal from his butt again (he leads the League in that), the Cookie Monster got assists on both of the first two goals, TK is throwing everything except the ref at the net and scored another goal, and Mad Maximus topped the night off with the Empty Net goal with a little help from Craig Adams, who didn't seem to know later that the net was still empty and didn't shoot. Either that or he was looking for another assist. The PK all earned FPL (Flower Protection League, hey, we've got new people) honors but most especially The Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi, (our secret second goalie) who was, once again, blocking shots,banging the boards and has added a fairly dangerous hip-check to his arsenal.

The nominies for the NHL awards (the ones that are voted on) are going to be dribbled out over about 12 days starting Wed. We won't know the 3 finalists for the Hart Trophy until next Wednesday, but I'm pretty sure we'll recognize at least one of the finalists.

Ok, it's time to fire up the Zamboni and head on back to da 'Burgh. Highlights and such tomorrow, and game 5 Thursday!!!

Penguin Invasion:

Ok, this was supposed to post late last night and, computer whiz that I am, I hit 'save' instead of 'post' and then never checked that it posted (the one time you don't check... sheesh) so here it is in all its late glory.

The Penguin invasion of the Stanley Cup Play-Offs will begin this weekend with the final placement of the 8 teams in the Eastern Division. The Pens are tied with Philthy and Carol-in-a for 4-6. The Canes have more wins, the Phlyers have fewer games, and the Pens have... the current scoring leader of the NHL, and some other hockey guys you might have heard of (Flower, Croz, Tank..., maybe you've heard of some of those guys).

Marc-Andre Fleury wasn't in the net tonight, but he left his well trained goalposts to make 5 saves for his replacement, Matheiu Garon. Garon and the Pens looked a bit shaky during the first period but came on late in the first to tie on their way to defeating the Aisles 6-1 to clinch at least a 6th place berth in the play-offs. Philippe Boucher announced his return to the line-up with the tieing goal in the first and that opened the floodgates as the Pens never looked back. Pittsburgh was awesome in the PK, even though there were too many damn penalties. 2 long 3-5 kills (one without the help of the Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi, the super-secret extra goalie) that were defended to perfection and gave Garon a chance to prove that The Flower isn't the only Gumby-goalie on the team. Other than the 7-2 penalty differential the guys played a pretty good game against a team of men trying to prove to their management that they deserve to be employed next season. Geno picked up 2 points on assists on Boucher's and Crosby's goals and finally acted like he was excited to be in the lead for the Hart trophy. "Yeah, I feel good." Malkin said, "One game left, it's OK, I think it's too much points (for Ovechkin to catch him)." and then he went on to promise that if O'retchkin scores 4 points he'll score two more Saturday. Kris Le-tank will receive a special TFS award point for crashing the net and nearly redirecting Dupuis' goal in.

Fan Appreciation, Appreciation: My favorite part of the season (other than the play-offs when the Pens are in) is the Fan apreciation night. I was blown away when I first moved here and started watching the Pens as a 'home-town' team when after the last game of the season the team gave their jerseys away and started throwing T-shirts up into the stands and generally making goofy fools out of themselves thanking the fans for all their support throughout the season. Watching Maximus sitting in the Penguins Polaris given away to some undiserving fan (ie: not me). Or The Tower of Flower Power pitching shirts at one of his team-mates on the ice (probably Max), Malkin making sure a kid got the game stick he handed over the glass, although it was somewhat disturbing to see the grin on Cookie's face when he was imprudently armed with a Tshirt cannon. Just about all of them were signing something thrown over the glass and whipping it back (hopefully to the person that threw it), and then each one of them giving a fan their jersey (Raine is ready to track down the blond 'bitch' that won MAF's jersey so she should be warned) and revealing the 'Fighting 5th' shirt worn under their gear (the Pens collected over 100 grand for the Fallen Heroes Fund at the game). Makes you feel like the guys think they're lucky to have a bunch of semi-crazy Pensaddicts screaming from the stands and we all know we're lucky to have them to root for, shout at or drool over as the case may be.... Thanks Guys.

Satan Sighting: Miroslav Satan has cleared re-entry waivers (uh....... nope, to complicated to explain) and will be back on the Pens roster in time for the Montreal game and throughout the play-offs (however far they go). We are pleased to see the Lord of the Infernal Realm back on the 'Big Squad' and hope that no one had to sign his soul away to get this to happen.



Winter Classic News: Reports are that next year's Winter Classic will take place in Fenway Park, possibly the Broons against either the Crapitals or the Phlyers. What does this mean to the fans? Well we should all look for a trade involving Ty Conklin to one of those three teams so he can keep his streak of playing in every NHL outdoor game alive.

Debbil, Debbil Toil and.... Trebbil?:

Ok, we are (or at least I am) going to pretend that I'm all caught up with everything from last weekend, and move on to tonight's contest with the Debbils from New Jersey. Lots of good things have come out of New Jersey... like.... uh.. I can't think of any at the moment, but I'm sure something will come to me.

Marc Andre Fleury will play in net tonight for the 6th straight game, and other than Craig Adams seeing some time on the 4th line tonight, no changes to the line-up are evidently contemplated. In a good news/bad news kind of a stat, the Pens are 2 points out of 4th place, but also only 2 points from 8th place (is that crazy, or what?). The Debbils have managed to lose the last 5 games they've played, but Bill Guerin and the rest of the guys are sure that it's only a matter of time before they snap that streak, they just don't want it to happen here. On a semi-interesting side note: According to the FSN Dynamic Duo (Error and Stogie) the Penguins have run the winningest goalie in NHL history (Brodeur) out of the net more times than any other team. Don't know if that means anything, but it's kinda cool when you think about it.

'Cause I Wanna:And just because this is my blog, and I can randomly stick things in here whenever I want, here's a Flower Power tribute I ran across on Youtube the other day... more to come after the game... probably:

Do-Over:

I decided to can that vid (fickle, aren't I?) and substitute this one instead:

The Tower of Flower Power was very solid in net, making some tough saves and allowing only one freaky goal that I'm still not sure didn't pass into another dimension to get around MAF and into the goal. The Pens resoundingly crushed the Debbils 6-1 with just about everyone but the Cotton Candy Dude scoring for the Good Guys. Cooke, Guerin, Malkin, Staal, Crosby and Kunitz scored, and might I say 'nice try' to the Croz on that second Soccer Style Goal attempt. Uncle-Daddy must have heard something about how often he's fled the Flightless Attack before and wouldn't allow himself to be taken out of the game. (I'm sure he doesn't read TFS, so I'm not taking any credit). I almost felt sorry for that poor, hapless Dainius Zubrus who spent more time on his back than a coma patient. Someone invoked the spirit of Darius Kasparaitis tonight as the hip-checks were flying all around the ice. There was more butt being thrown around than a Spring Break thong contest. The best 'Unfriendly Ghost' imitation was thrown by the Ever Dangerous Rob Scuderi. Scuds threw a hipper that flipped, you guessed it, D. Zubrus ass over tea-cup (it's a Midwestern thing, don't try to figure it out) on the boards at the blue line. And then in some strange twist of fate, Zube was upended about a minute later by Brooks Orpik who somehow got a penalty for being the 15th person to put 'The Big Z' on his butt, but that wasn't enough for Dainius who then decided to get Brooksie another penalty for being attacked by an insane Lithuanian hockey player. Holik decided at the 2nd break that Sequoias really weren't all that tall and confronted Gill.... and I'm not really sure what happened between right before that, and just before Sutter told the ref to 'Go puck yourself'. Because FSN had a big Second Period Stat graphic up covering the entire screen. Sutter was given a team penalty for 'abuse of an official'. At least I assume that's the abuse they were talking about, we really don't know what happens in the locker rooms between periods. (I'm not sure I really want to, either) NHL.com has screwed the highlights up so this isn't nearly as interesting as it could be. At least that's the excuse I'll be using, anyway. More to come when it occurs to me.

You're Sure it's not Groundhog Day?

Did you ever have a Tuesday, and you weren't sure it wasn't still Monday? You went to the same job, or classes, did the same things, talked to the same people, maybe even had the same meals. All day you stumble through with the nagging feeling something's just out of kilter. Not wrong, exactly, just out of step.

Well it doesn't help if you're having one of those Mon-Tuesdays and you go to PP.com and they haven't changed anything from yesterday (I'm still not sure if that's Monday or Sunday yet). All the same articles, no preview of the upcoming (I think) game, all the Trib-links are identical to the day before, nothing about the Tampa game tonight (it is tonight, isn't it?). You might think to yourself (I did) that they're just running a little late, I'll slide on over to NHL.com and straighten this whole brain-fugue thing out. No dice. NHL.com is still running the same articles and features they had on at 1 am. (the last time I checked).. the only thing that saves your sanity (if you had any to begin with) is the fact that the schedule is showing that yes, the Penguins play the Lightning at 7:30 on VS. (oh God! Doc and Edzone again) the Capitols play the Hurricanes (tough to figure out who to root for there) and the Thrashers play the Panthers as well. But you're a bit disjointed, and becoming more than a bit paranoid about the whole Mon-Tuesday thing. Then Yahoo has the same 4 featured stories on its page as yesterday (You sure it was yesterday?) so you begin to think, 'Did I advance the schedule when I hit that page?....' Is someone Paging Rod Serling right now? .... Picture if you will a Pensaddict, who can't tell if it's Monday or Tuesday. He's locked in the ever present now of Hockey Hell. Where it's always 18 games until the play-offs. The Signpost up ahead, he's entered the Twilight Penalty Box Zone. And then that creepy, crashing music. I'll have more to say when I've figured this whole Mon-Tues thing out..... Rod! Man! What did I ever do to you? .... Sheesh.

Back to the Real World:

All right, I've decided that my computer was possessed by the Spirit of Monday... it just didn't want to let go I guess. Suddenly everything was updated, I found out that Satan, Lord of the Infernal Realm was placed on Waivers today (here's a link to explain waivers. It's simple, straightforward, and there's no way in hell anyone not a lawyer can understand it.) Satan will still play tonight against the Bolts (which I didn't even know was possible). There's two ways to look at this, either Shero has a trade in mind and wants to trade the guy that has 3 goals in the last 5 games, or he wants to dangle the possibility of clearing cap room to see what he's offered. But here's the thing. The Pens have 24 hours to remove him from waivers, no harm-no foul, or let him clear waivers and send him to the Baby Pens. Roll your dice and move your mice.

Speaking of mice:

IFHSA has been claimed off re-entry waivers by, you guessed it, the NY Raggers. I personally wish this idiot would fade into the scenery, but he's like that annoying boy/girlfriend that keeps getting passed around your friends. Every time you think they're gone, someone else brings them to a party. Oh well, if changing a winning coach didn't kill their chances for the play-offs, this just might do the trick.

Crosby's Crotch Watch: El Capitan will miss his 4th game in a row. Still smarting from O'retchkin trying to preform some unnatural act with the Croz last Sunday.

UPDATE....uh... ER:

It's an interesting stat that the Pens are 5-0 with El Sid out of the line-up. It's also an interesting stat the the Pens are almost undefeated with Coach Dan behind the bench.(we're not counting any game played less than 24 hours after getting the job) Their record of 6-1-1 since Bylsma took the reins is nothing less than phenomenal. What is also nothing less than phenomenal is the play of Marc Andre Fleury tonight in net. Between a mostly sluggish team (who spiked Geno's borscht anyway?) and referies that didn't seem to understand the meaning of the term 'Goaltender interference' MAF stopped 32-33. Flower had more lightning thrown at him than the top of the Chrysler building in a hurricane. Wow. But then again, he had no problem taking Bugsy to the boards to prevent him from gaining the puck behind the net. Since Error and Stogie can't do it, we'll give Flower the Subway Sammich of the Game. Good job Marc Andre!

My new all time favorite former Disney player is Chris Kunitz. Nitz scored 2 goals tonight including the game winner, and was a general all around force on the ice playing with Gronk and TK. And getting a well-deserved 1st star of the game.

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me. Cookie Monster scored the capper goal to round things out and managed to piss off more Bolts than rust. Drawing (I'm not saying 'former Penguin' with these guys, it's mostly redundant) Hall into a penalty by taunting him with the fact that Cooke is now a Penguin and Hall isn't.

Rob Scuderi once again gets the TFS award for best imitation of a goaltender for using his body to prevent a centering pass in the third period then kicking the loose puck out of the crease so it could be cleared.

Evgeni Malkin get's the WTF award for his imitation of a recently Rufied prom date. Geno for the most part seemed to be suffering from some sort of Mon-Tues disease, he just couldn't get anything going and played in low gear for most of the game.

And a special TFS Award to VS, for not subjecting us to yet another fellatio filled broadcast with Dot and Edzone. Although we weren't entirely free as they had Edzone commenting during one of the intermissions.

Flowers, Sore Groins, and Tanks: UPDATED-ISH

The Tower of Flower Power will get a chance to redeem himself Wed against the Ice T's (They're on Long Island, get it?). He'll be starting in net against the strangely resurgent Isles. They've actually been playing pretty good hockey recently, and I'm not sure why.... They're not the ones that got the new coach. The Raggers did. Yup, Tortorella has replaced old what's-his-name as head coach of the ever popular Rangers. I still have no idea why you replace a 6th place coach, but there it is. It's been done....


But enough of that stuff, let's delve into the ever fascinating world of the Flightless Winter Birds. It seems that El Capitan had to leave practice with some sort of crotch boo-boo. (not really sure about that one) But he's 'probable' to play Wed according to Coach Dan. Also in the 'pretty sure they'll be playing' category are Feds and Cookie. Evidently they were 'evaluated' on Monday, found to contain the sort of insanity that leads to sliding around on the ice with 11 other guys with sticks and a flying rubber biscuit, and therefore will be allowed to do just that.




Really, Really Big News That You Probably Already Know: Kris Le-tank will be on the ice and actually playing against the Isles. It seems that whatever Coach (Lieutenant) Dan was looking for, evidently Le-tank stopped asking silly questions long enough to show it to him, so CD said, 'Shut up and go play hockey' or something like that. Now the only question will be: 'Who sits?' Well, your guess is as good as mine, 'cause CD ain't sayin. He did say that he was 'a big fan of Kris' talent and skill and what he can bring to this team'. So you can stop freaking out, (Raine) Kris is definitely playing for the Penguins.

UPDATE-ITIS: Sidney Crosby will not play tonight against the Ice T's, his groin boo-boo is still .... well boo-hooing. He says that he was hoping to get less sore by game time from the soreness inflicted sometime Sunday but that didn't happen. He also didn't want to cut down the admittedly short time to practice with Coach Dan, but that probably didn't help either. Sid, rest your crotch, no more doing the Time Warp watching Rockey Horror (It's the pelvic thruuu-ust that really drives you ins-a-a-a-aaaane.. uh.... sorry about that), just get better and come back soon.

Ryan Whitney has bolted back to his homeland (Massachusetts) for personal family reasons for a few days and is planning to rejoin the team in Chicago, Friday. In a completely unrelated note: Janne Pesonen has been called back up from WBS. Vince, over at Pesonen and the Pens is so excited he's plagiarising Ronald Ray-gun. (I wonder if he does the voice too?) I think Coach Dan will give him more time on the ice that MT did, but I'm not convinced his impact will be any greater. Sorry Vince, he's a monster over in the Finnish League, but usually that translates to 'average or a little above' in the NHL. I'm not only willing, but hoping to be proved wrong, but it's going to take proof, not golden helmets and hype.

Other Goalie News: Martin Brodeur, or as we like to call him, Uncle Daddy, will probably be coming back to the ice sometime this week. UD says he'd like to be back Thursday, for the game against the Avs. Of course Sutter is saying that he won't be saying anything until Wed. At least he thinks he's saying that. But anyway, Uncle Daddy will be back sometime within the next week or 2 days, or maybe the second Tuesday of next week. So warm up the record books, he's only 7 wins shy of St. Patrick Roy's all time win mark.
Uncle Daddy Update: Brodeur will be returning to the Debbles net Thursday against the Av's. Clemmenson got the boot back to the minors. That's got to be a contract/waivers thing, because he was the one that was burning up the net while U-D was 'indisposed'. Oh well Scott, maybe he'll fall down the stairs or something.....

Back to School, Back to Work:

If there was one thing that might make you want to go back to grade school, that one thing might be Marc Andre Fleury. I think the Flower might have lost a bet, or something because today after practice he went to the Franklin Regional Middle School in Murrysville Pa. Actually, the kids teacher Dr. James Zeliff (who my girlfriend now hates forever) won a 'take your goalie to school' day at the Penguins Charity Gala. (and that's why she hates him, he won it, she didn't. doesn't matter that she wasn't there, she didn't win) I'm not suggesting that everyone need fear winning stuff from the Penguins. Just the meeting MAF stuff.

El Capitan, Sidney Crosby will play in tonight's game against the Raggers. Evidently, the time off did his knee some good. Matt Cooke will not be playing tonight, or Friday against the Debbles. Cookie has been given a two game suspension for a love-tap he gave Scott (the Whiner) Walker during the Carolina game. Walker ducked into a check by Cookie and caught Cookes shoulder with some part of his cranium, so the League decided that the Cookie Monster was a bad boy and spanked him two games for it. Go Figure.. Chris Minard has been called up for at least a couple of games to cover for Cooke. Paul B-nasty was also called up to add some coverage for the 4th line Bill-me-later Thomas will be centering the line with Eric God-ly taking the right wing . Super Duper is going to be on the first line with the Croz and Geno with Minard doing the 2nd line thing with Staal and Syko. Or at least that's the way that PP.com is guessing it'll happen.

PP.com is also guessing that Go-Go, Brooksie and Sarge all skated together, and maybe with the team, that part's kind of fuzzy. Brooks looks to be back 'sometime this weekend', maybe. He is skating with the team and says that 'it's a little tight at night, but it's much better in the morning'. Whatever 'it' is. (Having a dirty mind, I refuse to speculate further. At least at TFS. My private speculations are another matter entirely) Brooks had an interview after practice and really looks like.... a serial killer in a Penguins hat. And not one of those kind where you can say 'he looked so normal' or 'such a quiet guy, kept to himself'. One of those Serial Killers that scare the crap out of you in a dark alley somewhere and make you have to change your pants afterwards, (if you get away alive, that is). Uh.... maybe I've taken this a bit far....

Post Game Update-ish: Chris Le-tank cannoned in 2 goals tonight for his first 2 goal game ever and first star of the game for his 2 goals. (can I say 2 goals again? it just sounds so good) Syko scored two Staalsy scored once and El Sid made another of his sick, pattented spin-backhand goals (and no one knocked him on his butt this time) as the Pens clobbered the Raggers 6-2. The Tower of Flower Power was pretty damn good tonight stopping 32 of 34 and flinging Rangers out of the crease like it was WWE. (headlock, twist, throw!! repeat) Very good game (translation: any game the Penguins win is a VERY GOOD GAME)

Cookie Monsters and Flower Power:

Other than the fact that the Penguins should skate with 'Fragile' signs on them, tonight's game against he formerly 'Mighty' Ducks of Anaheim was good theater. Marc Andre Fleury stopped 21 of 22 shots as the Flightless Ones defeated the Quackers 3-1. The Tower of Flower Power looked pretty good in the net. I'm sure he was a lot more comfortable facing almost half as many shots as in the last couple of games. Biz-nasty and Orpik disappeared during the game, Nasty returned, Orpik didn't. The dreaded 'undisclosed' strikes again. I was about to explode on Error and Stogie for babbling during the game and missing what happened. Then they showed the replay when they finally realized that Brooks was gone, (about 20 minutes later) and I couldn't see what happened either. I don't know what happened to B-nasty either, except him putting McIver on is butt with about 4 sneaky shots with the hand he was holding the jersey with, but he returned and I let it slide. One thing I did see, and that was two things... Two goals by Matt Cooke. The Cookie monster was one Whitney brain fart or one bouncing puck away from a hat trick. Cooke scored with 21 left in the first and 22 into the second to notch his 7th two goal game in his career. Geno assisted with two goals and tried twice to get Cookie the puck for the empty net hat trick, one of which just bounced over Cookes stick. The Human Sequoia Hal Gill sniped his 1st goal of the year. He also knocked JS Jiggy's water bottle off the top of the net. If he continues he's on pace to get 2 goals this year. (I told you I was bad at math, it's game 46 already) Geno went psycho at the end of the game and attacked Corey Perry and then Gill galloped to the rescue and refused to let go of Perry as he was pinning Malkin to the ice. Naturally we didn't see the start of the fight and Error and Stogie were babbling about anything except the game (again and continuously throughout the game) We got to hear about some guy from Washington County's moustache, Error's moustache, a roasted pig, drinking out of the Stanley Cup, losing the SC in a parking lot, breaking the SC (C'mon guys, I'm trying to watch a game here!) and something about three other players legs but Sidney Crosby has huge legs and a big butt, (Thanks for the info Bob) But almost nothing about Brooks injury, where B-nasty was, and they almost missed Cookie's second goal. Here's something they Dynamic Duo didn't miss, and neither did Flower:

But we still have to hear about some guy on the ice 'looking good'. That's why Potash is the only FSN guy allowed in the locker rooms after the game, these two would be suspect around a half-naked team of young guys.

The Penguins have enough players on the injury roster to start their own wing at a small hospital. I'm not sure what can be done about this, but I think my original idea about packing the guys in foam between games should be extended to during games as well.
More to come on Saturday when I've got highlights of Geno's wrestling match with Perry and other goodies.

Update-ish: So far the only coverage of Malkin mugging Perry I can find is 2:30 into the highlight vid from PP.com. I'll keep searching though.

Put Me In Coach! :

The Tower of Flower Power was interviewed for ESPN.com's Peirre LeBrun's blog. It's a small interview, and MAF basically says being injured is frustrating and he's glad to be back in his goalie-suit and the Team's goal: "We came close last season. We got a taste of it. Our goal this year is to finish it." I like the way this guy thinks....

Well, we all know that Marc Andre Fleury didn't play against the Philthy Phlyers on Saturday. Strangely enough quite a few of the Pens that did skate didn't much play either. Let's face it, when Eric Godard is part of your offensive juggernaut you've got some problems. No smackdown on God-ish, that's just not what he does. He's out there to mash apposing players into teeny-tiny little bits, if he scores the occasional goal, all to the good. But let's not dwell on the past (unless it's a win) On with the Shop.

Jeff Taffe and Connor James have been Yo-Yo'ed back to the Baby Pens. (James was only up for two whole days, talk about yo-yo) That says good things about Ziggy and Maximus and leaves Tim Wallace as the lone WBS representative on the offensive front.

Geno remains the League leader in points (49) and is on pace to put up Lemieux-like numbers by the end of the season. El Capitan is right behind his sometimes linemate (44) but still leads him in the All Star Game standings.

Other Penguin Stuff: The Cookie Monster has been embarrassingly nailed by NHL.com and forced to answer silly questions from Dan Rosen on their 'Chillin With.... ' segment. The most interesting things? His favorite movie is The Shawshank Redemption and he loves to cook, like from scratch. (so do I) The side-bar story has some recycled comments about how he's one of three players to have played with Crosby and Ovechkin.

Put Me In Coach: I'm sure you've seen the goofy movie reference. There's a guy up in the stands, or selling popcorn, or whatever. A player goes down, and the coach points to him and says, " Suit up." Hokey Hollywood reference? Strange Seinfeld excerpt? No. Brett Leonhardt, website producer for the Washington Crapitals, signed a try-out contract to back up Brent Johnson when Jose' Theodor went down with a hip-flexor injury. Simeon Varlamov was called up from Hershey but since the Bears were on the road, and the plane wouldn't land until game-time, they used Brett as an emergency back-up. (Psst, Therrien! I've got my goalie-gear in my bag if you guys ever need a hand. At the very least I'd have a good seat for the game.) In another strange note: At 6'7" (Sequoia height) if Leonhardt had played he would have tied for the tallest goalie ever to play in the NHL.

Reviews and Perspectives:

Shelly Anderson, over at the Post-Gazette doesn't think there's much of a chance that Marc Andre Fleury, the Tower of Flower Power, will play Wed. against the Islanders in her Penschat transcript. Speculation (which is all we have) is now that he's suffering from some sort of leg injury.

With 0.25 (that's 1/4 for the mathematically impaired) of the season in the past, it seems to be time to do a review of some type. Aw hell, everyone else already thought of that! So, being the lazy sub-human that I am I'll just direct you to a couple. Rob Rossi over at the Trib seems to think that we can cut and paste this years start with last years finish and add a cup. Nice idea, but let's not forget the 62 games yet to play. PP.com has stolen an article by Phil Coffey, Senior Editor of NHL.com, so I'll jump on that bandwagon and steal it from them. (Recieving stolen news articles isn't a felony, is it?) Basically he says that the Pens are doing a good job, Flower is winning, El Sid and Geno are leading the way, and you'd hardly even notice that Gonch and Whitney aren't on the blue-line. ( I notice, I really do). Also, at the end of the article there's a mini-tribute to St. Patrick Roy, patron saint of goaltenders and my and Flower's favorite retired goalie. It's only wild speculation that Roy is behind the injury plot to keep Uncle-Daddy from breaking all his records. The reports of the Vudu doll with the pins in the elbow at Patrick's house was greatly exaggerated.

The Pens are firmly ensconced in 4th place in the Conference (with more points than the 3rd place Crapitals. I have a problem with that, but I'll get into it later in the season) Their 27 points places them 3rd in the Division and that's much better than last year at this time.

FPL member Ryan Whitney began practicing with the team Friday, and hopes to be ready to play by Christmas. That could be something to ask Santa for, yes?

By all accounts HC Michel Therrien is less than pleased with the power-play. (16th in the League) Too much emphasis on 'style' and not enough on 'sweat'. Translation: When the crowd is screaming 'Shoot!' it's probably a good idea. Oh yeah, and sit someone in front of the net to bash in some 'garbage' and create some traffic might be a good idea.

Alex Go-Goligoski has his very own Pop-Up Video over at PP.com, and since I was over there stealing stuff I thought I'd swipe this too.

For some 'strange reason', The Cookie Monster, doesn't want to talk about his early game misconduct exit in the Vancouver game. Could it be, that he's not happy about it? Hmmmm... could be. BTW, that Player's Emergency Fund is getting lots of contributions this year from suspended players. I don't think Cooke needs to contribute.
Other Stuff: Roberto Luongo is going to be out 4-5 weeks according to his agent. Luongo pulled his groin (on national TV?, the sensors are going crazy!) on an odd double move during a save in the first period of Saturday's game. Sanford will be getting most of the Net-time, with Cory Schneider serving as his back-up. This is a guy the Canucks can ill afford to lose. He's been a beast in net, he's 11-2 with a .928 save percentage and a 2.17 goals against. That's two big-time goaltenders out and the season's only 1/4 the way through.

Give One Point to Fleury

Sorry this is so late, but I've got painters scurrying all over my house today, (why do they have to show up on Sunday, anyway?)


The Tower of Flower Power was just that, he was absolutely stunning in goal, stopping a regular season carreer high 47 of 49, in a gallant, but losing effort against the New Jersey Debbles. You couldn't ask more of a goaltender than to keep you in a game where you were outshot 49-15. It wasn't the defense's fault, there was just too damned much of it, you couldn't really ask more of a defense that seemed to spend the last 2/3 of the game in their own end. And what happens when you let that kind of thing go on long enough? Someone (Patrick Elias) throws a pass across the middle and it boinks off Gill, the human sequoia, and slips in the goal.

Satan scored on the first power play of the game, which should say nice things about both Satan's ability to score, and the power play, but after that the offense got a bit..... well... non-existant isn't too strong a word. The Pens seemed to be trying to out-Devil the Devils, but there was only one problem. This years incarnation of the infernal dwellers just isn't the same as in days of yore. In years past, you could nurse a one goal lead against NJ and be reasonably assured of a win, but this year's type seems to know how to shoot, and they like doing it. The only reason the score wasn't 30-something to 1 was MAF's stellar performance between the pipes. Just ask Sid: Without Marc, we don't even get a point," center Sidney Crosby said."We didn't deserve it. It's funny how it works that way. We didn't do what it takes to win that game."
or HC Therrien: "We didn't work," coach Michel Therrien said. "It's pretty simple."
Or the Cookie Monster: "He played unbelievable," Cooke said. "Made some huge saves. It's just unfortunate that we couldn't get the job done."
Pascal Dupuis: "If he's not there, it would [have been] a horrible game," winger Pascal Dupuis said. "They played a way better game than we did. You get beat, one on one all over the ice, you're not going to win many games."
Or even 'Uncle Daddy' Martin Brodeur: "It was like one of those games when I first came into the league, not a lot of shots and not a lot of goals," Brodeur said. "We got a lucky bounce, but we deserved it. He (Fleury) played well, it's too bad for him, but we'll definitely take this win."
All these nice comments aside, the Flower would have rather just chalked up a win: "It doesn't matter what I do, the main thing is to win the game," Fleury said. "We got a point tonight but two would have been better.
All in all it was a Playoff-worthy effort for a pre-season ready team...

I've said before, I'm not a play-by-play kind of guy, if you'd like a recap or just mentions of how well Flower played last night, this next part's for you. I've scoured the interwaves for articles on MAF, and here they are:
Articles: PPG, Trib-Review, PP.com, TSN, CBC, For absolutely, totally and world endingly complete coverage of the pre-game, game, outside the game, anywhere around the game, or just whatever he happens to think of, I recomend Seth &co. over at Empty Netters. Just about every kind of picture you'd ever want to see, including a rash of former player jerseys. I can only say, 'wow'.
I was going to add a Devil's blog in there, just to be fair, but the dude couldn't even get the GWG right. Imagine, a paid blogger on a night when your team won the game and he confuses the only two goals his team got.... I've never had a very high opinion of people in NJ, and this just shows ya'all why.