Tuesday, March 3, 2009

You're Sure it's not Groundhog Day?

Did you ever have a Tuesday, and you weren't sure it wasn't still Monday? You went to the same job, or classes, did the same things, talked to the same people, maybe even had the same meals. All day you stumble through with the nagging feeling something's just out of kilter. Not wrong, exactly, just out of step.

Well it doesn't help if you're having one of those Mon-Tuesdays and you go to PP.com and they haven't changed anything from yesterday (I'm still not sure if that's Monday or Sunday yet). All the same articles, no preview of the upcoming (I think) game, all the Trib-links are identical to the day before, nothing about the Tampa game tonight (it is tonight, isn't it?). You might think to yourself (I did) that they're just running a little late, I'll slide on over to NHL.com and straighten this whole brain-fugue thing out. No dice. NHL.com is still running the same articles and features they had on at 1 am. (the last time I checked).. the only thing that saves your sanity (if you had any to begin with) is the fact that the schedule is showing that yes, the Penguins play the Lightning at 7:30 on VS. (oh God! Doc and Edzone again) the Capitols play the Hurricanes (tough to figure out who to root for there) and the Thrashers play the Panthers as well. But you're a bit disjointed, and becoming more than a bit paranoid about the whole Mon-Tuesday thing. Then Yahoo has the same 4 featured stories on its page as yesterday (You sure it was yesterday?) so you begin to think, 'Did I advance the schedule when I hit that page?....' Is someone Paging Rod Serling right now? .... Picture if you will a Pensaddict, who can't tell if it's Monday or Tuesday. He's locked in the ever present now of Hockey Hell. Where it's always 18 games until the play-offs. The Signpost up ahead, he's entered the Twilight Penalty Box Zone. And then that creepy, crashing music. I'll have more to say when I've figured this whole Mon-Tues thing out..... Rod! Man! What did I ever do to you? .... Sheesh.

Back to the Real World:

All right, I've decided that my computer was possessed by the Spirit of Monday... it just didn't want to let go I guess. Suddenly everything was updated, I found out that Satan, Lord of the Infernal Realm was placed on Waivers today (here's a link to explain waivers. It's simple, straightforward, and there's no way in hell anyone not a lawyer can understand it.) Satan will still play tonight against the Bolts (which I didn't even know was possible). There's two ways to look at this, either Shero has a trade in mind and wants to trade the guy that has 3 goals in the last 5 games, or he wants to dangle the possibility of clearing cap room to see what he's offered. But here's the thing. The Pens have 24 hours to remove him from waivers, no harm-no foul, or let him clear waivers and send him to the Baby Pens. Roll your dice and move your mice.

Speaking of mice:

IFHSA has been claimed off re-entry waivers by, you guessed it, the NY Raggers. I personally wish this idiot would fade into the scenery, but he's like that annoying boy/girlfriend that keeps getting passed around your friends. Every time you think they're gone, someone else brings them to a party. Oh well, if changing a winning coach didn't kill their chances for the play-offs, this just might do the trick.

Crosby's Crotch Watch: El Capitan will miss his 4th game in a row. Still smarting from O'retchkin trying to preform some unnatural act with the Croz last Sunday.

UPDATE....uh... ER:

It's an interesting stat that the Pens are 5-0 with El Sid out of the line-up. It's also an interesting stat the the Pens are almost undefeated with Coach Dan behind the bench.(we're not counting any game played less than 24 hours after getting the job) Their record of 6-1-1 since Bylsma took the reins is nothing less than phenomenal. What is also nothing less than phenomenal is the play of Marc Andre Fleury tonight in net. Between a mostly sluggish team (who spiked Geno's borscht anyway?) and referies that didn't seem to understand the meaning of the term 'Goaltender interference' MAF stopped 32-33. Flower had more lightning thrown at him than the top of the Chrysler building in a hurricane. Wow. But then again, he had no problem taking Bugsy to the boards to prevent him from gaining the puck behind the net. Since Error and Stogie can't do it, we'll give Flower the Subway Sammich of the Game. Good job Marc Andre!

My new all time favorite former Disney player is Chris Kunitz. Nitz scored 2 goals tonight including the game winner, and was a general all around force on the ice playing with Gronk and TK. And getting a well-deserved 1st star of the game.

C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me. Cookie Monster scored the capper goal to round things out and managed to piss off more Bolts than rust. Drawing (I'm not saying 'former Penguin' with these guys, it's mostly redundant) Hall into a penalty by taunting him with the fact that Cooke is now a Penguin and Hall isn't.

Rob Scuderi once again gets the TFS award for best imitation of a goaltender for using his body to prevent a centering pass in the third period then kicking the loose puck out of the crease so it could be cleared.

Evgeni Malkin get's the WTF award for his imitation of a recently Rufied prom date. Geno for the most part seemed to be suffering from some sort of Mon-Tues disease, he just couldn't get anything going and played in low gear for most of the game.

And a special TFS Award to VS, for not subjecting us to yet another fellatio filled broadcast with Dot and Edzone. Although we weren't entirely free as they had Edzone commenting during one of the intermissions.

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