Saturday, May 23, 2009

Unrelated Relative Facts:

Thought it was only fair to warn ya.

Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals will take place South of the Mason-Dixon line in the home of the Hurricanes. Unrelated fact: Danny (Bylsma, not Bi-elsma, Reaugh) is one of the 21 names chosen this year for hurricanes that may or may not hit Carolina. The Pens go into the game tonight up 2-0 in the Series and hope to keep the pressure on the 'Cranes and win one or two 'down there'. I could try to predict the game, scour the internet for the 'experts' opinion to back up my guessing. But you've only got to look back at the last two games to realize that I'm blowing smoke up your butt. No one knows or can predict what's going to happen. Just look at Thursday's game. Start with the score: 7-4. How unreal is that with these goalies? Cookie has a three point night, but no one notices because of all the other amazing shit that happened. How many people thought that we'd be talking about The Lord of the Infernal Realm dealing a beat-down on Eaves? Or the fact that Kris Le-tank's hair would burst loose not once, but twice? (I told you not to mess with the hat) Who pre-wrote the headline 'Kunitz Gets First Goal in 19 Games'? And let's not even talk about Geno's HT, or Pappa Geno getting busted by Mamma for kissing that blond that always sits in front of the Malkin Parental Units. (I'd like to take this opprotunity, once again, to thank them for having sex and the product thereof) Or what about Game 1? Let's all travel back to 7:00 Monday and put some money down on Boucher getting the GWG. Or the least likely thing of all. That VS would actually find an articulate commentator, and then hire him for the Penguins games. I'm no bumpkin, but I was shocked to hear words like 'corpulent' and 'sapient' from an announcer during a hockey game. Unrelated fact: Daryl Reaugh (pronounced 'ray') has a Stanley Cup ring with Edmonton in '88 but his name doesn't appear on the cup. So ask me for winning Lotto numbers, where lighning is going to strike, how many jelly beans would fit in the Igloo or something easy like that. But don't ask me to predict the outcome of Game 3.

Unrelated to just about anything:
Is it just me, or does Harold Priestly Gill III look like a parent that snuck into his kids Midget League game?

Something comes to mind when people criticize the Tower of Flower Power's efforts in the last two series. When you're in the Play-Offs losing is like being caught and mauled by a bear. (just wait, it'll sort of make sense in a minute) Now, when you're running from a bear, you don't have to be faster than the bear.... just faster than the guy you're running with. So far Ward's been the one with his laces untied. (see? that kinda makes sense... in a weird way)

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